Love is Stronger than Death

Love is the Greatest Legacy

I will never forget the moment when I sat in the pew at the funeral mass of my grandfather watching my uncles walk down the long aisle with his casket. I watched my family mourn at his loss. I remember adding my own tears to theirs. This was my first encounter with the pain of losing someone who was very close to me.

My grandfather, Richard, was an incredible man. He fought in the Korean War, worked at American Can Company for 30+ years,was faithful to his wife, invested in his nine children, and was a member of St. Elizabeth parish for many years. Looking back on his life, I recall all the joyful moments my siblings and I had with him: playing baseball in the backyard (he would hit the ball over the fence, run into the house, and blame it on us kids), listening to his jokes (he could never finish because he was laughing too hard), going on walks to the nearby market where he would treat me and my siblings to our favorite candies, and listening to his stories (some of which were clearly outlandish). Though, what I remember most is how much he loved me; and in a mysterious way, his love lives on in my heart.  Love is the greatest legacy.

Love is Stronger than Death

Since my grandfather’s death, my greatest consolation has been knowing that a life lived in Christ does not end in death. And my grandfather died in Christ. Reflecting on the great dignity and vocation that we have as human persons made in God’s image, I can’t help but look forward with great hope for Heaven when we will be reunited with those we’ve loved. Our lives do not end with death!

As Archbishop Gomez explains, “…[T]he reality of our lives is that death is not the end of our journey. In Jesus Christ, death is a crossroads that leads us to a new beginning, to a love that never ends.” Death is the crossroads to eternal life. It is the path that each of us will walk, but we do not have to walk it alone. Christ walks it with us. “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil because you are with me” (Ps. 23:4). Our lives will be changed, not ended because love is stronger than death.

Practicals

I would like to offer advice to anyone grieving the loss of someone:

1. Allow yourself to grieve. As one British author wrote, “I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil” (J.R.R. Tolkien). As hard as it can be, enter fully into your grief. Do not mask it. Do not run from it. Face it head on. It is not a matter of “getting over it”; it is a matter of walking through it. Invite the Lord into your grief, and allow him to walk with you in it. Allow others into your grief; let them walk with you.
2. Offer a Mass for your loved one, and continue to pray for them. In the mass, we are united to Christ, the angels, and the saints. What a beautiful way to enter into communion with your loved one! If they are in union with Christ, they are never really gone
3. Remember them. Memory is a beautiful gift. I would even encourage creating an album/collage of photos with your loved one, so that you can keep their memory close to you.
4. Build a legacy of love for that is the only one that lasts forever. What better way could we honor those who have gone before us than by loving others? I encourage you when you are struggling with grief to go out of your way to love others; it helps us break out of our grief.

In conclusion, our great dignity does not end in death! God has made us for himself; and if we remain close to him, he will call us to himself. Life is changed, not ended because love is stronger than death. Let us leave legacies of love!