Inviting God into My PMS … And Why Men Were Part of His Answer
My whole life I have heard people tell me “ You are so hypersensitive, Kiki!” or “ You are too emotional!” Hearing those comments in the midst of crying for no reason, crying out of deep sadness or crying out of anger did not help me understand myself, but resent myself for being the way I was especially during PMS! *cue female to female affirmation* Gentleman, hear me out– this is for you too! There are women in your life that need you to know this so you can love them better, so please, keep reading.
I have always been the type of person who is very emotionally attuned to herself , but it hasn’t been until recently that God asked me to be invited into my emotional PMS experience! WOAH. Never did I ever think of talking to God about the cross of feeling like an emotional wreck during that time of the month even less that He desired to be part of it . He could see that I often felt like a burden or like looney for being the way I am and I was enduring an internal isolation because I and other people misunderstood the deep beauty that dwells in this part of my femininity.
Let’s quickly get through the physiological and biological response to PMS in women. The rise and fall of different hormones affect the way women’s brain function and you see this in the way we behave, eat, think, feel, etc. Now, back to the goods– Brene Brown, an author and researcher whom I deeply admire, spent many years researching vulnerability and she found the reason why people experience shame is because they do not feel the freedom to be vulnerable. Vulnerability dismantles shame and fosters human connection. I was ashamed of all of my emotions and I am sure I am not the only one that in turn felt isolated in this.
So here are some ways to make sense of all of this:
- We need more masculinity during our PMS
The truth is I need more of God in this part of my cycle. I need more understanding and care, but most importantly God helped me to see I need to lean into the masculine relationships in my life during my PMS. Maybe you do too, ladies. Men, your amazing capability to be rational is such a strength to women that experience an emotional PMS. God has created you in such a way that helps us women, funnel our emotions with reason and intellect. In turn, we help you tap into compassion and vulnerability and greater human connection. Please, be there for us. We need you.
- God is not afraid of how irrational you feel, ladies.
The God of the universe, who has created the stars, the sun and the moon, has also created you, every part of you; yes, even your cycle. He knew that your emotions would fluctuate every month, but He does not want you to be alone in that. Invite God into the messiness.
- Dismantle the shame
Periods are not news. It is part of our female story. If you need a bit more grace during this time of the month, don’t be afraid to ask others for empathy. You are inviting them to be more human. You can say things like, “ Hey! Can you grant me some grace today? I am feeling overwhelmed.” or “ I am going to try my best to be present, but just know I am not feeling myself today.”
It is my hope that my own epiphany helps both you men and women to want to understand more of the beautiful gift of being male and female.
