Pursuit of Friendship

I remember it like yesterday, the first day back from Christmas break standing by the softball field in a black sweater and jeans. One by one the softball girls came out in their uniforms greeting each other with hugs and screams as they reunited. There I was in the corner feeling invisible. To put you in my shoes, a new player joining midseason is quite an adjustment, but that didn’t help the pain of feeling isolated at that moment. Over the next couple of months, I started to get to know the girls on the team more but there was still something missing. Was I naive to think that I would automatically have fifteen new best friends?

Fortunately, not all of college was felt in isolation. In my junior year, I encountered a friendship that changed me. I lived with a group of runners and became good friends with one of my roommates. I was trying to figure out how to live my faith as a student-athlete and so was she. Leanne and I met weekly where we would bring our struggles to the light and encourage one another. Through our friendship, I realized that I was not fully alive. Leanne continued to pursue our friendship and remind me of my identity as a daughter of God. My life has been changed because of her faithful pursuit of my heart. This willingness to be vulnerable and intentional was what was missing for me that season on the softball team. Even though we were all united by a love for softball and spent at least fifty hours a week together, I didn’t feel deeply feel seen or known because we were not intentional or curious about one another’s stories.

It is nearly impossible to live out our faith in today’s culture without friends running the race with you. Seek out friends who want to grow in virtue. There is a misconception that friendship should be easy. It should be extremely natural and “just happen”. While I do believe we get along easier with some people than others, all relationships take work. Leanne and I may have been college roommates but sometimes we wouldn’t see each other for a couple of days because of our different schedules. In spite of that, we consistently found time to do life together. I’d encourage you to put yourself out there by going to young adult events, invite a friend to coffee, start a women’s group, and stay committed to pursuing the hearts of a few people.

 “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter: he that has found one has found a treasure.”