How to Party in College: Finding the Heart of Celebration

Bass is booming. You can hear the pulse from a block away. As you walk into a dim lit house, you are greeted by the aroma of cheap beer and sweet liquor and reminded by this fact each step of the way as your shoes stick to the floor. The room is lined with clusters of friends chatting with one another wearing almost identical outfits, but with a slight variation. The dance floor, a space for sweaty bodies to have an excuse to touch one another, one could ask where did the art of dance go? Stepping outside for a breath of fresh air your nose would be met with the ambiance of smoke. This describes the one college party I attended which leads me to ask, what happened to the heart of partying?  

What was more evident than the collection of sounds, scents and sights in this location on a Friday night was the cry for play and freedom. Why don’t we feel the freedom to express our joy, creativity, individuality in our day to day class and work schedules? Why do we need a party to feel connected to something larger than ourselves? Why do we need a place of escape to destress and feel alive again? 

I am not here to demonize partying, but I am here to say we have lost the art of celebration and communion! I know I am not alone in suffering the effects from the parties our culture gives us. The existence of these parties lead us to a revealing and understanding of our desires for freedom and play (which are good!). But is going to a college frat party the only way to finally have the freedom to be ourselves? There must be another way…

I want to begin this discussion by saying that I am sorry that our academic institutions fails to treat you as a full person. A person who yes, has a mind, but also a body and spirit. You are so much more than a walking brain. You deserve to be treated and seen as the full you. I am sorry that the majority of universities, by their nature, fail in providing the space for your full flourishing. This was my experience while attending university which lead me to wonder if this is why partying in our young adult years is such a phenomenon. We need a space to release what is being suppressed, being brushed aside, being unvalued. This disregard of the full person with the combination of the innate desire to be known, seen, and loved, to belong to something bigger creates perfect environment for a party culture. 

Answering the big question of why is partying such a prevalent thing in our culture for young adults could be a whole anthropological study, (anyone wants to write their senior thesis on it?) but I want to ask what is your why? Whether you choose to accept invitations to a party, are attending weekly parties, or have never desired to go to a stereotypical college party, the question applies because it leads us to a deeper understanding of our humanity — which is good and so beautiful. 

Okay so you may be thinking, Olivia, how do we rediscover and live out the art of celebration (a.k.a. partying in college!) especially if I am not seeing it around campus?  You and I are doing this together: we can begin to create space for play to unfold, where childlike freedom can be rediscovered without the intoxication, regret or hurting eardrums. 

I want to send you off into your campus with a new perspective. Maybe you will walk into these parties and have a conversation about what is this their why? Or maybe you host your own party and bring back the classic puzzles, card games, arts and crafts (wine and paint night!). Here are some steps and practicals to begin changing the culture of college partying: 

Step 1: Be honest with yourself to your why. Self-honesty is hard because it requires humility — to see clearly our deepest desires and needs.

Step 2: Ask how you can get this need or desire met in a way that isn’t a party or a concert. Our need for connection, belonging, fun, play, beauty, spontaneity can all be found in our day to day lives and sometimes, but we can often miss them because they aren’t so bold or colorful as a pounding bass or sugary drink. 

Step 3: Find a friend or community who is also asking these questions about partying and desires to restore celebration.

Step 4: Commit to accountability and communication if you choose to attend together. We need friends who are on the same page to become who we desire to be. 

Step 5: Create your own environment — host the kind of party you wish to attend! (I know I loveeeeee costumes and have always desired to host a themed party!). You are creative and so capable of inviting others to be seen for the real them!