A Short Guide to the Virtues
It’s very difficult in our particular time to discern between right and wrong. Fewer role models than ever are willing to draw lines in the sand on important issues. Our own families are often very divided and fractured, with parents and kids on completely different pages; all the while, schools have been left with the impossible task of picking up the slack. I don’t think I’m the only one growing up who had great difficulty forming my moral compass at school. School feels way more like a high-stakes pressure cooker focused solely on academic results than a training ground meant to teach us how to be good people.
In response to this, almost every young person looks to the internet for guidance. TikTok, Youtube, and Twitch are often schools, in a sense, for the young people searching for guidance and connection. Content creators and influencers are filling a gaping void left by our mentors, and have immense power in shaping young hearts and minds who feel they have nowhere else to turn.
While it’s so easy to feel like there’s no guidepost to follow, the reality is much brighter than it seems. We are blessed by God to have a rich tradition of ethics that we can follow in our quest to become saints. This tradition has been lost in some ways in the mess of our culture’s many shifts, but that solid foundation is always there when we need it. We only need to look!
Since we want to become good people, we need to strive for living out the virtues. First off…what is a virtue? Neatly put, it’s the firm, habitual disposition towards the good. Sure, good actions have their merits, but making them habitual is a totally different ballgame. Virtue ensures that we can reliably do the right thing because it becomes second nature to us. There’s an entire field of study devoted to this called “virtue ethics,” but there’s no way a blog could cover all of that. To make things simple and brief, I’m going to give you the shortlist of the cardinal virtues and help you apply them to your life!
Chastity
Ask any Culture Project missionary about chastity you’ll be surrounded by a stampeding herd of them before you know it. Fortunately, the written word gives us some more breathing room to think about what chastity is and why it’s important. Chastity is the virtue that specifically relates to our sexualities as men and women. It’s a lifelong journey that will cut to the core of our very existence, moving us to ask several key questions about life: Who am I in God’s eyes? Why has he put strong desires in my heart towards relationships? How does he call me to act in response? Chastity is the accompanying tool we need to make sense of all of this. Chastity is the virtue that stems from integrating our sexual desires properly into our hearts, clearly seeing ourselves and all of those around us not as objects to be used, but gifts of God to be cherished. It requires all of us to recognize that our sexual desires come directly from God, and are invitations to love others well, in both romantic and platonic relationships. Since it has something to do specifically with sex, chastity requires us to recognize that sex is also a gift from God–one where man and wife make gifts of themselves to one another and potentially bring forth new life–and thus could never make sense without the commitment that only the context of marriage and family could provide. It requires great self-control and trust in God and a lifelong practice in loving people unconditionally instead of seeing them as means to an end.
“Chastity is a difficult long-term matter. One must wait patiently for it to bear fruit for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness”-Pope St. John Paul II
Diligence
This is a fun one for me as a linguistics fan. The root of the word is the Latin “diligere” meaning to hold something very dear, or to love with great intentionality. Diligence is all about adopting this attitude with what’s important, being sure that you give things the proper time and attention that they deserve, instead of allowing yourself to get complacent. While most people use the word “diligence” narrowly in regards to having a sharp focus, I think the word’s root shows a greater depth to this focus–since living a good life is of the utmost importance, we want to be certain that we’re honoring our promises and living up to our commitments, never letting ourselves get in the way. All of this care, focus, and attention to detail is a labor of love, and a diligent mindset acknowledges that.
Fortitude
Fortitude is the resolution to stand firm against moral adversity and do good no matter what. To pursue any of these virtues, fortitude is necessary. Fortitude is aptly described as a “test of virtue” since it requires us to stick to our values, even when it isn’t popular and may have consequences. Fortitude is important because all the other virtues are unreliable without it. If we do the right thing until it gets hard, what does that say about us? We need to be counted on all of the time to do the right thing, even if that means being put in uncomfortable situations, or worse. Fortitude provides us with the certainty that we will always strive for the good, and respond with courage when the moment gets difficult. Even if we feel like nobody is on our side and we’re standing up for what’s right on our own, we’re blessed by the truth that God will always have our backs!
Temperance
This is a forgotten one in today’s zeitgeist. In a culture where “treat yourself” has become the highest good, temperance has become a lost practice. Temperance is all about putting the worldly pleasures and goods around us into context. Some natural questions we ask ourselves are: “how much is too much?” or “how far is too far?” While that question is no doubt important, it’s vital that we first consider why temperance matters. First off, we have to acknowledge that the pleasurable things in our lives (except for ones that lead to sin) are good! Genuinely enjoying the gifts life has to offer can help us grow in thankfulness and make us happier, better people. However, we always have to keep things in perspective. While we’re enjoying the gifts, we can never forget the Giver. When we value the things of the world at the expense of our trust in God, things get out of sorts. Temperance is the handy practice of always keeping things in perspective, thankfully enjoying what God has given us, but never placing it ahead of Him.
Kindness
Kindness has become watered down to the point of ambiguity. We see ads about “spreading kindness” just about anywhere: Lululemon bags, those “kindness: pass it on” ads we’ve all seen, and even an entire granola brand that’s co-opted the name (you know the one). While it doesn’t seem to have much depth beyond the iron grip of corporate slogans, the virtue of kindness has great spiritual value. Kindness is about remembering that we’re invaluable children of God. All of our efforts to be good people point towards this: building up the value of the human person. Kindness is based on the truth that God has made us in his image and values every human person beyond measure. He’s entrusted to all of us the incredible task of trying to see the true worth of all people, and treating them as our brothers and sisters, to the point of considering ourselves part of the same “mystical body of Christ.” Kindness is so much more than smiling and being “nice–” it’s doing our best to see other people as God does. Absolutely everything we do should have a spirit of kindness.
Patience
We all have some kind of stress in our lives, and if you’re like me, you want to fix it instantly. You want the problem resolved, and soon. Not having the answer can feel like pulling teeth. Showing discipline and grace through that difficulty, though, is where we shine; that’s where we exercise patience. Patience is the practice of putting aside our worries and trusting in God’s plan. It requires acknowledging that we don’t have all the answers in front of us and that there are bigger things out there than what we want in the present moment. I struggle with this virtue the most. Life seems to be happening so fast around me, and I don’t want to get in my own way, especially if it means I’m not living up to what God is calling me to do. I don’t want my flaws and faults to prevent me from becoming my best self. I want to know that I’m on the right track and do everything in my power to be on it, and fast. While all of that is good, we have to acknowledge the reality: God doesn’t reveal everything right away. God works on His own time and is often waiting to reveal something to us that we’re not meant to fully grasp yet. He asks that we keep expressing our desires, but trust that His answer will come exactly when we’re ready to receive it. Because it requires us to constantly grapple with the important realities of life, patience is so much more than just a test of mental endurance or a test of our ability to not think about anything important. It’s an act of faith in God’s divine work, and it’s a worthy test of our character. However hard it is to practice, we can never forget the good news underlying it: The Lord’s plan is greater than our own. The Lord is constantly reaching out to us in our discomfort, our anxiety, and our pain asking us one simple question: “do you trust me?” Patience is our continued “yes” to this question in every thought and deed.
Humility
If I had a nickel for every time I heard a “humblebrag” in everyday life, I’d be swimming in a pool of gold coins that would put Scrooge McDuck’s monetary mountain to shame. Our culture has lost sight of humility’s true value and is suffering greatly as a result. It’s ironic; the trait that is meant to cut us down a size and stop us from getting an inflated ego seemingly cuts the exact opposite way. What looks like humility has social currency; appearing humble is a sure way to gain the respect and admiration of our peers. However, true humility reveals to us that the acceptance of our peers simply isn’t enough, and challenges us to go further. Humility is the understanding that there is a higher power than us, and everything good about us is a gift from Him. This separates true humility from its imitation; it isn’t showy, and it doesn’t try to win people over. Truly humble people act the way they do only because it’s right. They’d act the same way if it gained them popularity or scorn. They recognize that an inflated ego is a huge roadblock to their relationships with God, and that true union with Him can only be done through humility. This is how we can tell the difference between behavior that is humble and behavior that appears humble to ultimately build up the ego. Humility, in a way not unlike patience, is a very difficult lifelong practice. It will often require us to allow our pride to break down. It will require us to acknowledge the central question in each of our hearts: “am I enough?” The answer can only come from the Lord, and it will always be: “yes!” Humility can be difficult chiefly because we’re so easily convinced that our dignity must be earned. We’re so rarely reminded of our unconditional value as people that we can feel the need to attach our self-worth to our social status, our capabilities, our achievements. The truth is once again comforting: because we’re made in God’s image, our worth can never be taken away. God has, does, and always will, marvel upon every human being as His beautiful and unrepeatable son or daughter. Our dignity cannot be earned because it was never gone in the first place. Humility is all about recognizing this. While it’s tempting to desire the admiration of our peers more than anything else, God calls us to remember where our worth is. It’s a difficult journey, but it’s worth it; by living a humble life, we’re constantly reminding ourselves that no matter what the moving parts in our lives may look like, God loves us infinitely. Humility empowers us to thank God for the gift of our lives and deeply understand his unyielding love for each of us. It doesn’t look to be noticed, revered, or popular; it only has eyes for Him.
I hope this brief summary of the virtues is helpful. Each one of these is vital to living a meaningful and fulfilling life. Each virtue is a unique path to coming closer to the Lord by becoming more like Him. While we’re reflecting on our consciences and using these virtues to become the people we want to be, it’s important to remember one crucial detail: the heart behind the virtue is everything. If we’re viewing these virtues without love for the Lord and His children, they’ll quickly become a list of chores to begrudgingly follow. We do not want that! Anchoring all of these virtues are what we call the theological virtues: faith, hope, and love. I know; you might be thinking “are these really virtues?” Yes! They are! Not only are these three traits virtues, but they’re the “big three” that underpin all else. Everything can be ultimately whittled down to faith, hope, and love. A virtuous life must be guided by an undying faith in God’s plan, hope for the future that only He knows, and radical love for Him and all of our brothers and sisters who are also made in His image. While these are indeed lofty goals, and can often seem too lofty to accomplish, I have total faith in all of you. Each one of you reading this blog is capable of growing in these virtues. All of you have it within you, and I believe in you wholeheartedly, no matter where you may be in your lives. God works wonders untold in the hearts of the willing. I am praying for you every day, and know you can do it! Go forth, confident that the Lord is with you, and delights in you!
