Baby Steps

I was recently taught by a golfer how to do a proper golf swing! You’ve seen pro golfers on TV, I’m sure. Don’t they make it seem so effortless when they hit the ball down the fairway? When it was my turn to try, I imagined that it would be pretty simple. But as my teacher shared the insider tips and tricks to properly move your body to accomplish the right swing, I couldn’t believe how awkward it felt! All I could do was keep repeating “how did someone come up with this?” as I felt myself strain to twist my torso to a further level than I thought possible. 

If you’ve ever conversed with a golfer, you’ve probably heard the tales of their best and worst moments. In between all the glory stories and highs and lows, it’s easy to glean that they needed years worth of practice, experience, or even lessons in order to master their sport. After trying it myself, I had a completely new admiration for a golfer’s dedication! While learning the proper technique and inside scoop on getting the best swing, I looked at my teacher in disbelief – and we agreed on one thing: it takes practice to get good at this! I needed to admit that if I really wanted to be good, I would have to take baby steps.

Baby steps…isn’t that a little sobering for a perfectionist? Realizing that as a fully competent adult, you still aren’t able to master things right away? I mean, aren’t we supposed to have it all together? I’m reminded of my littleness everytime I remember that most worthwhile things in life aren’t perfect right away. Beyond golf, starting a new relationship or beginning a new chapter in life sometimes requires baby steps – and that’s okay. It’s a blessing to learn that sometimes we must only count the small victories, even if our dream-goal isn’t in sight, yet.

So what are you pumped about right now? Are you getting ready to graduate? Is there someone on your mind that you dream of taking the next steps of a relationship with? Are you simply getting ready for an exam? Whatever it is, you probably have dreams and expectations for how you’d like it to go. It’s human and actually very virtuous to desire excellence and greatness for our lives. When we begin something new, we dive in headfirst so that we can strive for what we dream of!

In the midst of this, though, sometimes a perfectionistic voice rears its ugly head and convinces us that we just aren’t enough, that our progress is too slow, that things should be better by now, or that we need to work even harder than we already do. In a word: we become convinced that we are unworthy.

What a sad word. I’m so sorry for any ways you live under its power. I don’t know about the rest of us, but I sure experience this almost every day. If you find yourself in a pattern of unworthiness, here’s a few things you can do to stop the cycle:

1. Take a deep breath and use some time to connect with your heart. Ask yourself: what do you authentically need right now? When we are harsh with ourselves, we often forget to love our own heart. Sometimes the one who makes us feel most neglected is us! Even if all we need is a shower! You can reverse the cycle of unworthiness by giving yourself what you need – proclaiming yourself worthy of it.
2. Slow down. A fast-paced, rushed schedule is almost expected in this day and age, but slowing down can be a really healthy boundary. Rushing often carries an “not enough” narrative with it. Taking baby steps with something reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect, and that we deserve gentleness. 
3. If you feel pressure from someone else to be perfect, consider getting real with them. One of the most healing things I’ve ever done is come clean about my limitations with someone else. If it’s at work, with friends, or in sports, pulling a person aside to let them know how your feeling can be really healing. It’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength to be honest about this.
4. Few things are more powerful than gratitude! Even if you don’t feel like giving thanks, we have a God who is always worthy of thanks and praise, so you can start right there! Gratitude can help us transition from living in scarcity to living in abundance. Treasure and beauty can be found anywhere, and life is genuinely good when we recognize it! Maybe try getting specific and come up with three things at the end of each day that you appreciate.

You are worth this! Attempting this won’t be perfect, but even learning to take baby steps can require baby steps. Be not afraid in seeking excellence, and be not afraid of your limitations! In the words of Brother Isaiah: “every good thing is born of a struggle”.