Compare and Contrast… Actually, Let’s Not.

Picture this: you’re texting all your girlfriends about going out and doing something FUN.  The group message is fired up and someone puts THE question out there; you all know what im talking about: “what is everyone wearing?” 

Texts are coming and going like there’s no tomorrow, and it’s fun! Everyone’s sharing their cute outfits, some are there to inspire and others are there to soak up the inspiration.  

But it comes to a point where you feel the pressure to dress as similar as you can to the rest of your friends, some might say – match the vibe. 

And maybe it’s one of those times where none of your clothes are as cute as theirs, or maybe your wardrobe has nothing similar to what your friends are wearing. YIKES. You’re now left with two options: Either go on a last minute shopping trip, or settle for something you have and accept the fact that everyone’s going to look way better than you (spoiler alert, that’s a lie).  Both options are stressful, and the likelihood of the perfect outfit coming out of the clouds is rather slim.  So the chances of being left disappointed and insecure are pretty high.  I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty miserable.  In fact, I know just how miserable that feels.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been the one praying for a cute outfit to appear out of thin air, and how many nights were ruined because I cared way too much about my overall appearance.  While this may seem like a simple and maybe even silly example, this goes far beyond those outfit dilemmas and fun nights out. There was an evil little voice that ran through my mind ceaselessly, constantly telling me that I’m worth less simply because I didn’t look or act exactly like the women in my life.  When it came to appearance, it always felt like a competition; I felt like I was in a race against all the women in the world.  And more often than not, I felt like I was coming in dead last. This constant state of comparison led me to believe that my worth was simply being measured by what I was lacking in the beauty department, which is RIDICULOUS!!!

What that evil voice failed to tell me is that my differences are BEAUTIFUL and deserve celebration!  It wasn’t that I was necessarily lacking anything, but I came to the realization that you and I are unique and individual persons, unlike anyone else, and that is so beautiful! Comparison stands as the thief of our beauty, which ultimately leads to the demolition of our joy.  Let me tell you why:

YOU are a MIRACLE! Seriously, the odds of you existing are actually only 1 in 400 trillion, which is EXTREMELY low.  Those odds alone tell you that your life is miraculous and certainly not a mistake.  So, if you are that much of a rarity, wouldn’t it be pretty boring if you were exactly like everyone else in the world?  

If my life is THAT rare, it would only make sense that I am so uniquely and wonderfully different from the rest!  A good friend of mine once told me, “you are the only Clare that ever has been, and you are the only Clare that ever will be.”  Guys, let that simple yet powerful fact sink. in.  Take that statement and insert your name, because you deserve to hear that very same thing!  Now with that in mind, let’s talk about how to combat that ugly little voice of comparison, and how to CELEBRATE our unrepeatable beauty!

1. When in doubt, do some mirror talk.  Bring yourself back to reality! Tell yourself that your existence is RARE, as rare as 1 in 400 TRILLION! Know that your differences are not there to hinder you, and remind yourself that they’re actually there to give honor and glory to your beautiful individuality. 
2. Compliment other people on their unique beauty!  When you start doing this, you will become increasingly grateful for and aware of how precious human life really is.  You will also start to see and appreciate more of your own uniqueness when you recognize it in others.
3. Be honest with yourself and with your friends when you’re experiencing comparison! This is a tough one. It takes a lot of vulnerability to admit that you’re feeling less than someone else.  But when you have good friends, they will receive you well and walk you through renouncing those lies! Conversations like these can also really deepen your friendship with that person!
4. Ask Jesus to remind you who you are, and Whose you are. This step is absolutely necessary to put into practice, no matter who you are or what your experience is!  If we do not know our identity as sons and daughters of God, then we simply do not know our identity at all.  Continue to bring this question to Jesus, and He will reveal the fullness and splendor of who you truly are as His beloved child.

With all of that in mind, remember that evil whisper has no business taking up space in your head! Know that you are beautiful and magnificent just for being you. In fact, that beauty shines brighter the more we embrace our awesome quirks.  So wear that big curly hair, smile EXTRA big with those crooked teeth, and sing from the mountain tops no matter what your voice sounds like, because life is beautiful and YOU deserve to be celebrated in all your you-ness!!!