How to Reclaim Our Identity and Beauty
“In my deepest wound I saw your glory, and it dazzled me.” St. Augustine
If you are anything like me, I love chick flicks and Disney movies! For so many years my expectations of love and men came from what I learned from, The Wedding Planner or my all-time favorite How to lose a guy in 10 days! I began to have all these false expectations of perfection and beauty and prayed that the guys I dated would fill the empty hole in my heart.
For such a long time this fairytale love became a problem when my identity was solely focused on the guys I dated and the endless words of affirmation I received. I battled with insecurities, especially always feeling like I could never be as beautiful or as funny as the actresses in my favorite movies/TV shows. I placed so much of my energy on eating the right amount of carbs so I wouldn’t gain weight, purchased many types of makeup so others wouldn’t see my flaws. I always felt like I had to wear the right thing, say the right thing to get guy’s attention, etc. Man—typing that was exhausting! So was this standard of beauty and love I had for myself. I am not saying that looking good, smelling good, having a boyfriend that compliments you are bad things, but when one or all those things become our identity and the source of our fulfillment, we are led astray to feel empty and desolate. Why is that? Because that empty ache in our heart was and always will be for God alone. Nothing and no one can ever fill that, but Jesus. You can ask any Catholic couple if they satisfy one another and the answer will always be no. I remember hearing those words one time and I was shocked, but it all makes so much sense now. For those beautiful hearts reading this, our beauty and identity are solely found in Christ. Christ is the one who makes us whole and makes us beautiful. In Him, we find what our hungry hearts desire, which is to be in communion with Him. Here are a few steps on how to reclaim our beauty and identity that have helped me:
- Be honest with yourself. If you are struggling, be open about it with the Lord and with someone you love and trust.
- Prayer, bring your heart and your petitions to the Lord, He desires to help you find your way back to Him.
- Read scripture! (HIGHLY IMPORTANT) We find our identity in His living word. Start small. I read a chapter of a book in the Bible per day and incorporate it in my daily prayer time. I then try to reflect on what I read throughout the day.
- Holy friendships! This is key. Virtue is attractive so surround yourself with people who are striving for the good, true and beautiful. God placed beautiful women in my life that called me onto holiness and radiate such a beauty. Surround yourself with virtuous men as well who help you grow in confidence and strive to lead you to Christ. God placed such incredible friendships in my life that continue to show me the beauty of living out the virtue of Chastity.
- Lastly, Be patient—it takes time. I am sure not perfect in how I love myself and I sometimes suck at receiving the love others try to give me. But I am continually striving to grow in love and patience with myself.
Christ live in us brothers and sisters and He continually seeks us day in and day out. Open your heart to be transformed by His immense love for you. Do me a favor and pray for me as I strive to see Christ in me and I will for sure pray for you!
