She Is Worth The Risk!
There is a line in the social media talk we give that, without fail, results in some hilarious moments. It comes from the relationship section of the talk where we touch on how we must not allow social media to become our primary form of communication; especially when it comes to important conversations. Following so far?
I like to preface the line by inviting the men in the room to listen closely. Then I tell the women that they are welcome to clap if they agree with what comes next. Can you see where I am going with this?
Like a microphone, I drop the line; “Men! You should NEVER ask a girl out on a date through social media, text, or DM.” The ladies erupt with applause! One teacher even gave it a standing ovation!
But that is not even the best part! I absolutely love seeing the expressions on the guy’s faces change during the clapping and cheering. One minute they are laughing, not really taking the advice seriously, and the next their eyes are open wide in astonishment.
This is then amplified by the second wave of cheers that come when I mention that the ladies should be challenging the men to do more. But what exactly does that look like? Well, to understand that, we have to go deeper.
Each and every one of us is called to uphold the dignity, given by God, of those around us. In addition to that, we as men are also called in a special way to uphold the dignity of women. One beautiful example of this is St. Joseph and his care for our Blessed Mother.
This is not some gender role of old either. We as human beings are wired for love and relationships. For men, that desire most naturally reveals itself in the forms of problem solving and protection.
With that in mind, we can now discuss what I meant by “do more.” We live in an age where asking a girl out on a date has lost all its meaning. Instead of being this beautiful gesture that signifies one’s desire to get to know another, it has become a cause for fear in some men or a means to an end for others. I hope I am not the only one who sees something wrong with that.
Therefore, knowing our responsibility, we have to break this cycle. Not tomorrow or next week, but today. This can be done in two important ways:
- Courage
- Intentionality
Asking a girl out on a date face to face requires courage. However, out of comfort, many men resort to text or social media. You were not made for comfort though! You were made to live a life of love driven heroic greatness and she is deserving of love and respect to the fullest extent of her dignity!
Asking a girl out on a date in this way not only shows a lack of courage and respect, it also demonstrates a lack of intentionality. We cannot continue to engage in this “talking” phase of a relationship. If you intend to ask a girl out to get to know her better, then say it! If your intentions are good and clear, it saves everyone involved a lot of time and possibly some heartache as well.
This doesn’t have to be robotic or awkward either. It pushes us men to be creative and sets a firm foundation for a healthy relationship. For any ladies reading this, take it from a man who has struggled with intentionality; if he is not capable of rising up to uphold your worth before entering into a relationship with you, there is a good chance that he will not rise to the occasion in the relationship either.
In conclusion, I would like to say that neither this story nor this teaching is not meant to condemn anyone; rather it is meant as a challenge. Today’s culture has trained so many of us men into passivity and fear of rejection. But love, my brothers, is and will always be worth that risk. Our sisters in Christ deserve nothing less than that.
For more information on intentionality watch these videos:
