Can I be beautiful? Thoughts on modesty…
I was walking towards the school in my embroidered jean dress, platform sandals, and straightened hair. NOTHING could stop me. I kept thinking: Is this what it’s like? Is this what it’s like to feel beautiful?
I was 13 years old entering the 8th grade. For years I felt so inadequate with my appearance. I never felt enough. But here I was in 8th grade and I felt so good about myself. The best part of this was that I didn’t feel the pressure to reveal my body to be beautiful. Don’t worry, I will not be addressing the morality of modest here. If you would like to learn more about what modesty is meant to be, I encourage you to read this! Here I will be speaking about one of the things that modesty isn’t. Modesty is not about hiding our beauty.
We desire to be beautiful and for our beauty to be delighted in. However, a lot of times the price we have to pay to be seen is to wear a low-cut or tight outfit. The desire to be seen is so good. Why do we sometimes feel like we must wear less to be seen? Must we take off clothes to earn the gaze of someone we admire?
Every single time I allowed myself to dress in accordance with this thought, I never actually got what I wanted. I wanted to be validated in my worth and instead, I found myself feeling used and inadequate. I deserve someone to look at me not as body parts but as a whole person. Wearing modest clothing reminds me of the goodness that my body is. I do not have to prove to the world that I am beautiful by taking off my clothes.
The beauty that every person has deserved to be reverenced. Modesty allows us to embrace this truth through wearing clothing that (first) allows us to love ourselves and then invites others to do the same. True beauty is also meant to lead one closer to heaven and God. Beauty does not simply end with what people see. When we search for beauty we are ultimately searching for God. No person, no matter beautiful they are (here’s looking at you, Leonardo DiCaprio) will completely satisfy our desire for beauty.
I am sorry to all you women who have been taught that you have to earn a man’s gaze through wearing revealing clothing. You deserve better. You are seen. You are delighted in and you are beautiful.
