If I Respect Myself, Why Does Modesty Matter?
When I hear this question I immediately think of my past self that too had this same question. This only became more prevalent when I started working out and noticed how much my hard work was paying off. I know some girls can relate that while getting dressed we can many times really notice and appreciate our bodies and their beauty. To acknowledge our bodies are GOOD is not bad. We can celebrate the good.
Its crucial to understand that a part of respecting ourselves also means respecting our bodies enough to know that we are worthy of human dignity. That means worthy of being seen. Truly and authentically seen. Not only seen but respected and to be treated with such dignity. By dressing modestly we are calling our brothers to a higher standard that we are to be treated with human dignity and really regardless of the way a woman dresses she is to be treated as such. However, we make this statement when we choose to dress modestly. We must live in the reality that while we respect ourselves and our bodies that does not determine if the other person will see it as such.
“Who has the right to tell ME that I had to cover what I know looks bomb!”
I can think of a time in which I was upset at the idea of dressing modestly because I thought “who has the right to tell ME that I had to cover what I know looks bomb!” I remember going out weekend after weekend and wearing what I knew made my body look good. In the back of my mind I also knew that this would catch the eyes of men, cause if I was enthralled with my own body, sure as heck guys would be. Time and time again I was approached, unwillingly touched, and yelled at by men who only saw me as an object to fulfill their fantasies.
“but really men will lust over anyone even if you’re wearing a potato sack”
I realized that I while I “respected” my body, others didn’t see it that way. I hated the way I felt when I would blatantly be lusted after, I felt dirty, and I felt like I wasn’t seen and merely just looked through. If you’re anything like me you’d be saying, “but really men will lust over anyone even if you’re wearing a potato sack”. I agree, that men can lust over you, even when you dress modestly. It happens.
I knew that when I put on an outfit that showed off more of me, that my night would be met with men who would see me not for my humor or my boss personality but for my body.
I HATED that.
However, there is a difference in that your modesty commands a certain demeanor from our brothers and calls them to treat you as such with the human dignity you deserve. Inherently I knew that when I put on an outfit that showed off more of me, that my night would be met with men who would see me not for my humor or my boss personality but for my body. I HATED that. It came to a point where I was sick of not being seen, and wanted to hold myself to a standard I deserved. I also knew that living out chastity meant walking the walk I would talk. I started little by little and deflected the lie that I had to be seen by showing more of myself.
When I committed to dressing modestly I learned that I didn’t have to compromise my cute style. I saw first hand how my modest, yet bangin’ style commanded respect and in turn received a different response. Remember that respecting our bodies means knowing our human dignity that we are worthy of respect and love. If we truly respect our body it would mean we would choose to dress modestly and NOT compromise our style. Again, regardless of how anyone dresses, they are worthy of respect, love and dignity. In many ways dressing modestly means calling yourself and others to a higher form of respect.
