Let Yourself Be Loved

People – I love people more than anything in the world and there is rarely a time when I will refuse someone their sincere request for my help. If you’ve ever seen The Princess Bride then you’d know what I mean when I say that, ‘As you Wish’, sometimes seems to be my life’s motto. 

While speaking to a dear friend during Thanksgiving, we found our conversation directing itself to the topic of our passion to love and serve others.  As our conversation went deeper, we realized that this passion stemmed from our deep desire for intimacy, but we also realized that this passion was very one-sided. We had been seeking this intimacy through loving others but failed at allowing ourselves to be loved. You see, this passion for service may find its roots in a great desire to love but it is not always detached from the deep wounds we may have from not receiving this love in return.

There are quite a few times when I do things with the hope that someone will see me and be so overwhelmed with gratitude that they couldn’t help but thank me and tell me how good I am. These are times when I reach for and grasp at that love I think I need, a love that I think will fulfill me. Yet, when others do attempt to love me back, when they compliment or affirm me, I reject them and sometimes even deflect their love in the name of ‘humility’. Rather than soak in this love that I’ve been longing for, I run from it. Why is it that I do this? Why is it that so many of us tend to do this? 

It may take some time for you and me to really understand why it is that we do this for, as Padre Pio believed, “We are mysteries even unto ourselves.” As we begin this journey into the mystery of ourselves, and ultimately into a greater intimacy with the mystery of others, I offer this challenge: Think about what it means to you to be able to help or affirm another person and how good it feels when that affirmation brings them joy.  Each day, even if only once, allow someone to affirm you and simply say thank you so that they may also be able to serve and love you. 

True humility receives and responds with joy for it is rooted in the truth of who we really are.