Wounds
When I was 7 years old, I had the bright idea of challenging my uncle’s treadmill to a contest of speed. My challenge to the treadmill: I bet I can run faster than you can spin. With all the confidence in the world, I stepped up onto the treadmill. First, a slow walk. Then, a light jog. I continue to press the “increase speed” button and begin running. Soon after, I’m in full sprint mode. **Wisdom in hindsight: this is the moment when I should have stopped pressing the “increase speed” button** Unaware of the consequences that may follow, I continue to increase the treadmill speed until I can no longer keep up. Before I know it, I slip, trip, and fall towards the rapidly spinning machine of death. My left elbow gets caught in between the bottom of the treadmill and the ground, and some of my skin is torn off from the rapidly moving treadmill surface. Able to free myself, I notice that my left elbow now sports a large, painful wound. Treadmill = 1, Gian = 0.
Upon finding out, my mom asked me to come to her so that she could clean out the wound with some alcohol. My first reaction? Uhh, no thank you. Alcohol hurts. So, thanks but no thanks. My dad intervened shortly after and says that I need to put alcohol on the wound, even if it hurts. He explained that the alcohol is what kills the germs that might infect the wound and make it worse, so even if the alcohol stings a bit, it’s actually what is needed for real healing. After many attempts to convince my parents otherwise, I eventually obeyed their requests and allowed my mom to rinse out my wound with alcohol. The process? Painful. The result? Healing.
I think that in this journey of life, this is often the process we go through with God. We have many experiences – some good, some bad – each one leaving its mark. Some of these experiences bring hurt and pain into our lives, wounding our spirit and causing us to doubt the goodness in others or even in ourselves. Many of us respond to this by putting up walls in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt again. Some of us may turn towards a temporary pleasure in order to distract ourselves from facing the insecurities we hold within. Whatever the case may be, there is only one proven way towards authentic healing: Jesus.
This is simple, but it is hardly ever easy. See, bringing our wounds to God is a lot like pouring alcohol on a wound. You never really know how much it’s going to sting until you do it. You never really know how deep a wound goes, until you enter into it. The healing that God wants to work in our hearts is not some surface level, superficial healing. It is the type of healing that transforms a person… makes them new. But God will never force this upon us. Jesus is a gentleman – He will always ask first. So how can we allow the Lord to heal us? How do we cooperate with His graces to allow authentic transformation to occur in our lives?
PRAYER
This is where we walk with God. Prioritize time for Him every day. Even if all you can give Him right now is 5 minutes of prayer, 2 times a day… give Him that. Remember what He did with the 5 loaves and 2 fish? It is our duty… no, it is our privilege to be able to pray. It’s not something we have to do, it’s something we get to do. Our pride often twists things around and makes us believe that “we don’t have time for God” when in reality, there’s nothing more important we can do in our entire day, then make time to connect with Him. Remember, God doesn’t need us. It’s us who need Him. God knows this so He relentlessly pursues us every day. In the midst of all our sin, brokenness, and failures, He runs to us, desperate for our time, attention, and love.
VULNERABILITY
It is no coincidence that the very people around you, are the exact people in your life today. That’s not an accident. Whether you have a ton of friends, or just a few close ones, find someone you can trust and share your heart with them. If you can’t think of anyone, ask God to reveal them to you. Vulnerability is the place where we allow ourselves to really be seen. No more masks, no more walls… just the real us. In that place is where we can allow ourselves to receive love most fully.
When we run to God in prayer, and run to a trusted friend in vulnerability, it is like we allow the Lord to pour alcohol onto our deepest wounds. It may hurt, it may sting, it may burn for a while… but slowly and surely, healing will take place. After some time, authentic transformation. God wants to work beautiful things in your life. For your good and the good of others. In doing this, God will use all of your experiences, both good and bad. When we place things in the hands of the Father, nothing is ever wasted. Let us not be afraid to look into our wounds and allow God in.
“I looked into my deepest wound and was dazzled by your glory.” (St. Augustine)
