Did I just see that?

“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.” – Shakespeare

I recently heard yet another story of an innocent Google search turning into an abyss of porn. One mistyped word in the search bar launched my friend into another world. With an estimated 370 million pornographic websites targeting millions of people, pornography is now largely considered a “public health crisis.” The trifecta of sexting, hooking up, and pornography leads more and more people into empty seeking for fulfillment of their desires that only authentic love and intimacy can really fulfill. In the face of this crisis, let’s take a minute to learn how to better take care of ourselves.

Our culture places a lot of value in self-care. For example, magazines in the grocery store give endless body image tips, and the stacks of self – help books on the shelfs of Barnes & Noble are numerous. A necessity for more psychological help  from various wounds that our society has inflicted on people all point to the simple truth: we need more. Authentic self – care, particularly with regard to our sexuality, is a desperate need in our world. A need that should even change what we search for online.

So, what do we do?

Our first response should be to get Covenant Eyes. Covenant Eyes is accountability and filtering software designed to help the user avoid or become free from pornography. If you want to be free from pornography, then get covenant eyes. There is no way around it. Having an accountability partner in your corner during the tough times can help remind us of the person we want to be.  

Second, find a group of people to share your vulnerabilities with, whether it be a group of friends after work, a church group, or the like. Vulnerable sharing can be uncomfortable at first.However, the more we share, the more we remember that our history is not our destiny. What we have done in the past is not our future. It takes groups of friends accompanying us on life’s journey to remind us of that. Not to mention that this kicks loneliness in the face! If you need help, check out Fight the New Drug’s Conversation Blueprint.

Third, consider finding a life coach. We all have goals, but rarely do we have people around to intentionally help us achieve them. Finding a life coach or counselor who can keep you accountable, guide you through fallbacks and celebrate your victories is a powerful way to become free from pornography. Likewise, this helps us remember that we can be gentle with ourselves as we grow. For a list of counselors to overcome pornography, check out Integrity Restored.

All of these great resources can only be matched by a firm resolve to live for love. Remember, it is going to take time. It is important to be patient with yourself. If someone has struggled with pornography for most of their life, we should not expect virtue to develop with the snap of a finger. It starts in our daily words, thoughts, and actions. It changes everything.   

I dream of a world that is rid of pornography. I want our Google searches to end with real answers, not counterfeits. I desire relationships that satisfy; for marriages and families to be a strong foundation in the school of what is good and beautiful. Freedom from pornography is something to hope for; something to strive for. A lifelong endeavor that deserves another go. Once more unto the breach of love!