By Caitlin Bostrom read

Posted in Dating

No, you won’t. You’re not that powerful. Sorry to burst your bubble.

If you are anything like me, we can see the potential in people. I love seeing the IDEAL. I love seeing the good and beauty in their hearts! And I want them to reach their full potential. This is a good quality and beautiful desire to have. However, it can get us in a pickle when we transfer this mentality over to the person we choose to date.

Here’s a scenario for you.

You see a guy. He’s pretty dang attractive. He seems nice enough. There are a few red flags…but he will grow out of it, right? He will change. You’ll help him. And how special that you get to be his little savior!!! Wanting to help is a good intention, right?

But let me shoot it real: YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE.

Only God can.

And if you try, not only will you end up hurt, but you will end up hurting that special someone as well— actually preventing them from reaching their greatest potential. You will get in the way of what God wants to do in their hearts.

Right before I broke up with my boyfriend, the relationship had come to a point where I realized I just couldn’t fix it. There was nothing I could do. And if I kept trying to hold on, I would not be loving my boyfriend or myself. I had to totally entrust him back to the care of the Lord and Mama Mary. And it was hard.

This requires us to have enough humility to realize that we are NOT saviors. We were never meant to be little saviors. And if you actually get to the bottom of this savior mentality, you realize that you are preventing your significant other from encountering The Savior— the only one who can truly change hearts.

Here is my advice for you, simple and straightforward:

Date someone who is so freaking awesome that you don’t want them to change!!!

Of course there will always be room to grow. That’s across the board. Everyone has their weaknesses. And we remember that love is a choice that chooses to love people through their weaknesses.

This is totally different then dating someone hoping you can change them.

The only person you can change is yourself. And if that means that you need to start changing yourself by changing your relationship status, than so be it.

the culture project

About the Author

Caitlin Bostrom

Caitlin Bostrom grew up on a little lake in the woods of central MN. She always dreamed of working with young girls, teaching them about purity and their God given dignity. She flew down to sunny, southern FL to Ave Maria University where she received her degree in Theology and further developed her gift of music. This is where she encountered two CP missionaries, and her dream of being a missionary started to be directed toward the mission of Culture Project. Caitlin is a huge advocate for living fully alive, striving after virtue, and falling in love with authentic love and beauty. She is in love with Divine Mercy, and looks to Our Mother Mary as the perfect example of living a life of love and grace. "I can't wait to serve as a missionary with the Culture Project! It truly is a dream come true. I hope to become a spiritual big sister to all the young women I encounter, helping them understand their own beauty and worth, and encouraging them to allow Christ to pursue their hearts."

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