It is Our Responsibility to Love Authentically
It was a day just like any other on mission. The morning was filled with presentations, office work time bridged the gap between talks and mass, and holy hour came and went too quickly. All that was left to do was attend mass.
As the 5:30 pm start time approached, my team and I gathered in a pew. I silenced my cell phone, put it in my pocket, and knelt down to pray. As always, it was a beautiful celebration and I felt an overwhelming sense of joy despite having such a busy day.
After giving thanks to our good and loving God I stepped outside to wait for my teammates. I reached into my pocket to check my phone and I noticed that I had received a text from an unknown number. Confused, I opened it, but was not prepared for what was enclosed.
Attached to this text was a revealing photo of a woman I had never met before. I quickly closed the message and began to feel so sorry for her. I approached my teammate about the situation and deleted the photo soon after.
In that moment, I also felt God calling me to respond. I cannot remember the exact words I wrote, but it began with an apology and ended with an affirmation of her infinite value in the eyes of God. She quickly responded and I learned that she had met a guy on a dating app that had apparently given her an incorrect phone number.
At that point I chose not to continue the conversation. I felt angry and upset; first towards the man who requested the photo, then towards the culture of today that pressured this woman to send it. She was and is deserving of so much more than that.
In today’s oversexualized culture we are taught that sexting, among other things, is part of the natural progression of a romantic relationship. Phrases like “Everyone is doing it,” or “If you really loved me you would send it,” are thrown around constantly. Over time, we may even buy into that belief.
This, however, is rooted in something much deeper; and that something is love. Love is a powerful act that calls us on to greatness. It is the truest desire of each and every one of our hearts. However, over time, it has been boiled down to the feeling alone.
As a result, love has become this game of chasing instant gratification and living for the momentary highs. Authentic love, however, is rooted in sacrifice; just look at any crucifix. It means willing the good of the other for their own sake, not because it will in some way benefit us.
This woman was promised love by the culture, but ended up being used for the sake of someone else’s pleasure. In the words of St. John Paul II, “[a] person’s rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use.” That becomes a powerful truth when we understand what true love is.
So my brothers and sisters, if you ever find yourself on either end of a situation like this, please stop and consider the following:
- “The love of person for person must be benevolent, or it will not be genuine. Indeed, it will not be love at all, but only egoism,” (Love & Responsibility).
- “Treating a person as a means to an end, and an end moreover which in this case is pleasure. . . will always stand in the way of love,” (Love & Responsibility).
- “Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of real love,” (Love & Responsibility).
I continue to pray for each of you as I do for this woman and all those who have been impacted by this culture. Our bodies, our desires, and our sexuality are all great gifts. True love is, thus, what allows us to orient these things towards good.
