Get Over Yourself
“Man cannot find himself except through a sincere gift of self.”
I was recently helping out at a Sophomore retreat, sharing the message of chastity and the beauty of authentic love. Love that demands something of us…or maybe even everything of us.
Going into small groups after my presentation, I didn’t realize the battle I was up against. I realized that some of the girls were not at all interested in making a gift of themselves. That they didn’t want to sacrifice for others. All they cared about was what made themselves feel confident and empowered. Self sacrificing for another person was out of the question.
Reflecting upon this experience, I’m realizing the great tragedy of this obsession with self from which our world is suffering. Until we understand that we will never be fulfilled unless we step outside of ourselves, we never will find happiness. Fulfillment comes when we empty. When we finally realize that I am actually not the center of the world. And praise God for that!
Our hearts were made to pour out love, not to be trapped and confined within the prison of ourselves. We can’t grasp at love and obtain it for ourselves. It must be given and received as a free gift.
And love can neither be given or received without stepping outside of ourselves.
Why does our world see this stepping outside of ourselves as weak? Why has independence become an idol? Why is it such a bad thing to need one another? Or to remember that others actually need us?
One of the biggest lies of the modern world is that life is about us. That we have to do everything in our control to fill ourselves, to make ourselves happy.
What if love is actually an emptying? Creating space to receive. Knowing I’m not entitled to anything; everything is a gift from my Creator. Let me repeat that:
I am not entitled to anything.
What if our world has it all backwards? What if we aren’t meant to climb the ladder of greater success, greater independence, greater empowerment?
What if it’s all about emptying ourselves? Creating the space for love?
Love is never grasping to fill the emptiness of your heart. Rather, love is letting your heart be broken open by letting other people in, and giving your heart away. This is the kind of love that creates space for our hearts to be truly filled! This is the love that creates communion. This is the love that shapes us into becoming truly free. This is the love that fulfills.
A good starting place to discover this love? Reminding yourself that you actually are not the center of the world…and praise God for that!
