How dare you!

I remember once being at a party and overhearing these guys say “ She’s definitely fun for now, but not the type of girl you want to bring home to your mom, but I’m not looking for that girl quite yet, I am just looking to have fun.”

Pause. Like what? Excuse me!

I remember being so offended by this comment because it made me feel like we as women were just objects to be used and throw away once our purpose has been served, even now it triggers back emotions. But now when I reflect back on this comment anger isn’t the emotion I feel as strongly. What I feel now is compassion and a deep desire to respond in love because I can clearly see the grip our culture had on these men.

We live in a culture today that does not honor men and does not honor women. Instead, we live in a culture that looks at us and thinks we are “throw away”, that we can just be treated as the latest gadget and when we are no longer “in”, move on to the next best thing.

We live in a culture today that is teaching us to view the world through the lens of lust, creating this idea that is where we will experience freedom and spontaneity. Lust has such a grip on our culture. On our hearts. It is destroying us. It is not allowing for freedom or spontaneity. What does it really allow and open up? Hurt. So many people walk around now feeling more empty, incomplete, and chained.

So how should we respond? With love. We need to reclaim what authentic love is in our culture. Love is to will the good of another. Love is to put someone else’s wants, needs, and desires before our own. When we begin to look through this lens, to act in love, our culture will change. That’s how powerful love is. Love has the power to move mountains, to change hearts and to mend broken pieces.

So let’s talk about some steps we can make so we can start being a culture of love.  

1. Commitment. We need to break this mentality that relationships aren’t committal, that some relationships are “just because.” We are not an object for one’s temporary fulfillment. When we use another person, or when we’re not committal, not only are we hurting the other person, we are hurting ourselves. So be bold and commit.
2. Virtue. Virtue draws greatness out of us. We need to recognize that the strive may cause some pain, we may be faced with some hard decisions and we may have to say some no’s. But is all so that we can say a greater yes. Yes to love and all of its demands
3. Mercy. We need to be merciful to others and on ourselves. To quote Pope Francis “A little mercy makes the world less cold and more just.” So let’s spread mercy because from mercy love overflows.