Do You Brush Your Teeth?: How Chastity and Brushing Your Teeth Are More Similar Than You Think.
When you were a kid did you ever totally forget to brush your teeth? Whether it was because you were staying up late into the wee hours of the night making prank calls, snacking on pizza and oreos, or a late night post soccer tournament and you were dead exhausted? Because I know I totally had many of those moments. Even as an adult there can be mornings where I totally blanked. But just because we forgot one or two times did that cause us to never ever brush our teeth ever again? No. That would be really silly. And if we did say yes, we probably wouldn’t have any teeth at this moment.
Chastity is like brushing your teeth. It isn’t something that happens overnight that magically you are perfect at, rather it’s something that develops through practice, through creating a daily habit. We learn to brush our teeth as soon as we have at least a few in our mouth, but we can’t do it alone so usually a parent or older sibling helps us. Then after we no longer need assistance turning on the water, or squeezing the toothpaste out of the tube, or even reaching the sink, we most likely still need someone to remind us to do it every morning and every night. And maybe those reminders could seem annoying and in those moments brushing your teeth could feel like they are asking the world of you. However, you soon realize that brushing your teeth is a good idea when you go to the dentist and they say you have cavities that need to be filled. Ouch. But eventually as we get older, brushing our teeth becomes such an integral part of our daily routine that it would actually feel weird NOT to brush our teeth in the mornings or nights. It is something so natural to our self-care regime that we may not even think about the intentional choosing of the good that happens (hopefully) at least twice a day.
Chastity is a virtue meaning that is a good habit that develops through practice. Just like when we were younger we needed those people around to remind us to brush our teeth,, we also need people in our lives to help us make choices that lead us to goodness. Chastity blossoms in friendship just like building the habit of brushing your teeth! We literally need other people to grow in virtue! If we recognize that we need others to grow in the virtue of teeth brushing, then it becomes clear to us how much more needed it is to have others in our lives who also want chastity and are striving each and every day for it. Surrounding ourselves with people who want to become saints will help us also become the best version of ourselves and I know thats what I want.
Here are some things that I have to continue to remind myself when growing in chastity that I want to share with you:
- Don’t be so hard on yourself. It is essential to know when you fall short absolutely, but have compassion that you are in the midst of the learning curve and bumps along the way are normal and natural. You are not defined by your moments of failure, but by the infinite and reckless mercy and love of our Father. Let that be a reason to keep on fighting to love.
- Ask yourself what you want. I know this is a huge and can be a daunting question. But seriously, what do you want? Do you want to be the person you are created to be? Do you want to be a better version of yourself tomorrow? Do you want to love, like truly love? Do you want heaven? Do you want to be a saint? Do you want to love our Lord as completely as you can? Find the reason to say no for a greater YES.
- Ask for help. If you are in a dating relationship, don’t just keep your desire and striving for chastity to you, yourself and your prayer life. Invite your significant other to actively participate in what you want (Sainthood. Heaven. Being a more full you) and ask for their help to get you there! And if you aren’t dating someone, ask your friends, your family to hold you accountable, to remind you when you need that nudging, or even drag you to the bathroom sink and start a 2 minute timer help! We need one another to grow in the depth of the virtue of chastity and that is a beautiful reality.
Just like brushing your teeth is worth the daily yes to end up with a sparkling set of pearls well into your old age, chastity is worth the daily yes to have the ability to love fully and deeply in our relationships. Just like every single human being has the natural need for caring for our physical bodies, each and every one of us, regardless of literally anything, also have a deep need for chastity if we are to fully care for our souls and those around us. Let us not shy away from the daily choice to love and if we fail to know that we can always get back up again.