Hey Guys! Need Some Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Ideas?
With Valentine’s Day approaching next month, it might be tempting to look up articles listing the “Top 20 Best Valentine’s Gifts” or “Top 20 Ways to Please Her This Valentine’s Day.” In doing so, you’ll likely only find material goods that reek of clichés, or you’ll discover pages upon pages of advice from the culture about purely physical acts. To all the men out there searching: I’m here to provide you with an alternative. Here are some of my personal favorite ideas for how to radically love your girlfriend this upcoming Valentine’s Day (that aren’t physical).
- Affirm her in her femininity.
I once had a friend tell me: “Caroline, a guy telling me that I look lovely or beautiful is always more flattering than telling me I look hot or sexy. In every circumstance.” Consider the language you use when complimenting her, and what you’re complimenting her for. There is more to her than her beauty, but there’s also a right and a wrong way to compliment her beauty.
Have you heard of the feminine genius? If not, I highly encourage you to check out this video. In fact, I believe all men should take the time to learn about and appreciate the feminine genius! With your own girlfriend, consider which qualities of the feminine genius shine through her radiant personality (which I know you must find attractive!). Is she extremely generous? Does she receive everyone she meets into her heart, as if they were her own best friend or close family member? Does she intentionally reach out to people who might be on the fringes in some way? Take the time this holiday to notice those qualities, to affirm them, and to thank her. We all desire to be seen, known and loved. Remind her of the gift she is to you.
- Find a way to make a sacrifice (or several).
“Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” -St. Therese of Lisieux
Maybe you go to her favorite restaurant, even if you don’t love it. Maybe you sacrifice the time you’d normally spend doing your favorite activity to spend quality time with your girlfriend instead. For example, you can put the video games away for one day to plan a trip somewhere new like the Arboretum. If you can find a way to make a sacrifice this Valentine’s day, it will show them that you have the capacity for truly great sacrificial love down the road. This type of love is what we are all made for! Not the mushy-gushy Nicholas Sparks love, but rather the kind of love that pulls you out of yourself to will the good of the other. And this kind of sacrificial love doesn’t just happen overnight, so step up now, men! Put your desires for heroic greatness into practice in little ways every. single. day. That is what radical love is.
I encourage you to take this to prayer. Just like how we should pray about what we will fast from each Lent, we can ask the Lord to reveal to us ways we can make sacrifices for the good of others. He might even reveal to you something that you decide to remove from your life long-term (for more than just one holiday), too.
- Buy her roommates flowers, too…
…or her best friend, mother, sister, etc. If you want to love someone well, love the people they love! It’s just like what they say: you marry their family, too. My best friends and I often joke about being a “package deal.” It’s typically a red flag if you don’t get along with the most important people in their life, so what better way to show you care than with a sweet gift? While flowers might seem like an uncreative gift (which I personally disagree with, flowers are my favorite!), when given unexpectedly to the most important people in your girlfriend’s life, it will be surprising and unique.
I once had a roommate’s boyfriend visit our house, bringing carnations for each of the 4 other women living there, in addition to a beautiful bouquet for his girlfriend, our roommate. Some guy friends of ours thought this was weird, asking questions like: “You don’t think it’s strange? How do you know he’s not “tryna slide” with you? Seems a little sus. I definitely wouldn’t do that.” In all honesty, this conversation broke my heart. I felt as if my guy friends were so concerned with the way their masculinity was portrayed that they wouldn’t feel comfortable giving any girl flowers non-romantically. Why, men? Why is it less masculine? My roommate’s boyfriend won me over at that moment, showing his true masculinity. He knows just how much we mean to her, and since she means so much to him, he went out of his way to do something extra special for us. He was so confident in their relationship that he knew it wouldn’t come across as suspicious, but rather intentional and kind. Through his security in his own masculinity partnered with how loved she felt through the gift to her friends, it only strengthened their relationship.
In the end, this is not about doing all of the perfect things, getting the best presents, or putting all your effort into a single day so you don’t have to worry about it the rest of the year. Valentine’s Day can be a special opportunity to honor your girlfriend in the way she deserves. If you don’t want to put in the effort for this one day, are you even putting in the effort that authentic love demands every day? If your intentions this year are to genuinely love her well, this holiday can be the perfect time to invite prayer and creativity into showing it. Men, have courage! I know you have the capabilities to step up to the challenge, and I can’t wait to hear more about what you end up doing. I promise that you’re worthy of receiving great love, too, and God will be blessing your efforts!
