Dealing With Long Distance Romance? Here’s Some Tips

I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a really handsome and virtuous man. We were friends for a little over a year before we started dating and in our case, the foundation of our friendship has been such a blessing especially now that we are long distance. 

For the past few years I had been desiring to be in a long distance romantic relationship.  Some people thought I was silly for desiring something that is known for being difficult.  But I could see goodness in the difficulties. Long distance allows for great sacrifice, deeper communication, authentic conversation, creativity, and the opportunity for the heart to grow fonder in the waiting.

There’s a lot of advice out there on how to live out a long distance relationship.  And if you are not careful, you could fall into some really terrible advice, I’ve seen it myself.  

Here are some practicals that my man and I have found very helpful:

Prayer

We pray each night before bed.  We pray from the heart, giving to God our gratefulness, sorrow, love for one another, etc.

Establish a method of communication; how often and what form

My boyfriend doesn’t have an iphone, so we like to use facebook messenger instead of FaceTime for our video chats. Have a conversation with your significant other and find what works best for the both of you.

Try to make time for one another and don’t just “find time” — make it.

We try to make time before bed to check-in with one another and pray together.  We are in different time zones, so it can be tricky.  However, we prioritize it because we know it is worth it.

Establish boundaries

My boyfriend and I have a time limit on how late into the evening we text, call, or videochat. We recognize that when it gets late, the filter on what we share starts to dwindle.  We do not want to use each other emotionally or physically and so we have boundaries to protect one another and to love each other authentically.

Be honest 

Be real and open with your significant other about how your day was, what emotions you are experiencing, how much you care for one another, and how the distance is going for you. My boyfriend and I are open and honest with one another because we’ve seen how important communication is.

Be creative

There are fun ways to show each other that you care:

• Send letters, care packages, little gifts
• Send a notebook back and forth that you can journal in, write notes to one another, send each other pictures, drawings, etc.
• Watch movies at the same time (Netflix Party!)
• Play video games together while chatting
• Read to each other
• Work out virtually to encourage and support one another
• Text each other throughout the day (good morning, goodnight)

Plan Time to be Together in the Same Place 

• It is important to have a time to see each other to look forward to
• Don’t overplan the time so that you can be sure to be attentive to one another, and be adaptable to how the other is feeling or things you can’t control, like the weather
• Don’t overwhelm each other with too many things going on so that you can remember to just be.  It is tempting to make the most of the time that you have together by planning a lot of things to do. However, it is important that you make the most of the time you have together by just being together.

Every relationship is different. These tips are what my boyfriend and I have found to be helpful or things that we want to try.  Take the time to think, pray, and discuss with your significant other what you would like to try, what works, and what doesn’t work.  If you are in a long distance relationship, I want you to be encouraged.  It is difficult, but it’s definitely worth it.