The Power of Masculinity (From a Woman’s Perspective)

Men, I want you to know something. You are POWERFUL. Your masculinity brings something unique to the world and your presence leaves nothing the same because of it.

When YOU show up in your uniqueness, I am uniquely affected. When you listen, I feel uniquely heard. When you see me for who I am, I feel uniquely seen. And when you live in the fullness of who you are, communities, families, and societies uniquely come to life. Even in your uniqueness, there are many gifts that I find particularly in the men in my life that powerfully impact the way that I live as a woman. With gratitude, I would love to share those with you.

1) Your strength inspires me.

I have been moved by many of the forms your strength can take: physical feats, vulnerability, or simply caring in a world that can claim that caring isn’t cool. But when I think of masculine strength, I think particularly of the radical strength it takes to sacrifice. I have grown up witnessing my dad matter-of-factly sacrifice his weekends to serve those in poverty, boldly take on house projects for the sake of my mom and family, and humbly kneel on the floor as an act of devotion during our family prayers. His great strength in sacrifices like these has inspired me to greater heights of love for God and neighbor than any of my schooling ever could – and so has the sacrifices of my brothers and male friends. When you courageously use your strength to stand up for the good, true, or beautiful – you POWERFULLY inspire.

2) Your initiation makes me feel worth it.

Both your courageous and casual initiation means a lot and is a hallmark of your unique leadership. When you step outside of yourself to initiate a conversation or activity with me, it reminds me that my presence is worthy of a response. That may sound silly, or perhaps basic, but it is so true. As human beings, we desire to be acknowledged and engaged with for who we are and how we are. So when instead of stopping at the surface, you intentionally strive to see me in the fullness of my personhood, my heart comes alive in a special way. When a man asks me out on a date, I am honored that he would take the initiative to better know my heart even with the risk of rejection on the line. I want to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure – and so I am delighted when you invite me in particular to take part in something, even if (especially if) that something is simply your life.

3) Your protection sets me free.

There is a particular freedom and safety that I experience at the side of virtuous men. A freedom to be myself and to be a saint. When a man walks me home at night, I feel free from the fear I would have if I were alone. When a man protects my emotions through his clarity and intentionality, I feel free to walk in the reality of the state of our relationship. When a man protects me from even the possibility of being used through heroically following through in his commitment to chastity, I feel free to love without pressure or fear. I will never forget when a man I was dating did this for me. I no longer felt like I had to fend for myself or carry the fight for authentic love alone. I now shared this beautiful pursuit with someone who was also fighting for what was best for us – someone who would protect my heart. Amidst a culture of blurred lines, I truly felt set free.

4) Your love helps me heal from any broken ideas of masculinity that I have experienced. 

The power of masculinity flourishes when it is oriented towards something. Unfortunately, both men and women can experience the effects of this power turning into itself, manifesting as either a gross passivity or wild dominance. These experiences of masculinity can distort our understanding of the masculine, or even of the fatherhood of God – but they can be healed! There have been many times in which wonderful men in my life have stepped out of themselves to love me in little ways that have quietly healed parts of my heart which have been hurt in the past. These moments have often been small and taken me by surprise – like a teammate being radically present to what I had to say one morning, or a friend letting me know that was in his daily prayers. Suddenly my heart felt different. The reality is that everyone on this earth needs healing, and you have a unique power to heal simply through living your masculine gifts with great love.

I hope that you leave this blog post with a new appreciation of the power and responsibility of your incredible masculine heart. Through living out your masculinity virtuously, you help me become a more virtuous and fully alive woman. The world needs you. I need you. Thank you for all that you are!