Prayerful Practicals: How to Pray in Desolation or a “Dry Season”
As with anything in this life, the experience of prayer is an ebb and flow of consolation and extreme joy, desolation and darkness, or just general dryness and uncertainty. Prayer—“a surge of the heart” (Therese of Lisieux)—is a divine mystery of relationship with The Triune God. Of course, this can get confusing and complicated in our human weakness. So, if any of you have ever been discouraged in prayer, as I know I have, I am here to speak into that. That being said, these are just thoughts and opinions taken from my own experience (as well as instruction from trusted mentors and the Saints). Take it or leave it, but I hope some of this helps you as it has truly helped me! Here are seven practicals for how to pray in times of desolation or a “dry season,” when you don’t feel like it…or when you don’t feel anything at all. Prayer is relationship; it is a choice. It is an act of love as much as it is simply being in interior rest and receptivity to The Beloved. Prayer is encounter and entrustment. It is so much more than the feelings—than the experience. It took me a long time to realize this. This is what I have learned:
1. As you already know: keep praying, feelings or no feelings. Literally, keep on keepin’ on with prayer and the sacraments. Discipline and sticking to prayer commitments is tough, but crucial to spiritual growth. As spiritual mentors have told me many times throughout dry seasons or times of suffering, it is a greater testament to love to keep praying, even when we don’t feel like it. That is a greater act of faith, and it is a particular expression of affection for Jesus that consoles His Sacred Heart. It really shows Him how much we care about Him. Prayer is the interior disposition of loving Him back after all the love we have received from Him. Personally, I have found that my dependency on God has grown exponentially when persevering in prayer even when I don’t feel like it…versus the alternative of dwelling in the anxious pit of self-reliance. If we are always waiting on feelings of consolation in prayer, we miss out on so many amazing opportunities to grow in relationship with The Lord, to grow in virtue, to grow in interior strength, and to abide in peace amidst the storm of life.
2. Spiritual direction! A priest, nun, or another older, wiser, trusted lay person, can be key in helping us navigate dry seasons of prayer. They can be another window to help us discern the voice of God and how He is speaking to us in the midst of our struggle with prayer, with whatever we are going through. I have learned so many new types of prayer from spiritual directors. Spiritual direction has been a resource to teach me how to persevere in the interior life in spite of the calamitous and confusing world around me. The thing is, these people are most likely older and wiser, or, at the very least, just a few steps ahead. So, if we are spiritually struggling and grappling with uncertainty in our prayer lives, they have most likely already experienced the same thing along their own faith journey. God can use spiritual directors and their experience to speak into our experience. If you don’t have a spiritual director and you aren’t sure how to go about finding one…you know what I’m about to say…yep, pray about it! I have prayed for spiritual directors at two separate and specific points over the last few years, and The Father has faithfully granted my requests in His time and with those He desired for me to journey with.
3. Prayer groups, prayer partners, and prayer devotions! This is when novenas and intentional, pre-written prayers come in handy. These are great for reigning in the wandering mind and keeping it on task. Of course, spontaneous prayer from the heart is so beautifully poignant. This type of prayer can really move a heart of stone back to flesh and inspire a soul anew, especially through intercessory prayer. However, if you are going through a time of spiritual desolation, pre-written prayers are so helpful for the day-in-day-out, especially when you try to pray spontaneously but come up short for words because of the dryness or suffering of the season you may be in. The Rosary, in particular, is a fast-track to deeper devotion. It is easy to jump into The Rosary with others in prayer communities or solo, and it is anchored in fostering both disciplined perseverance through the beautiful, repetitious monotony of the beads as well as a deeper contemplation through the meditations of the mysteries. The Rosary is what, personally, I have found to be the most surefire way to re-enter into contemplation and practice DEVOTION to The Lord, even in the midst of a dry season…especially in the midst of a dry season. The Rosary always helps me re-anchor my thoughts in Jesus through the motherly aid of Mary.
4. Spiritual reading! I have discovered that diving into someone else’s “interior castle” (for reference: Saint Teresa of Avila) has helped me sort out my own interior castle, and has sparked new awareness of the indwelling of The Holy Spirit within my soul. As human people we all love a good story! Spiritual reading, especially diaries of Saints’ mystical encounters with The Good Lord Himself, is a bounty of consolation from all different perspectives throughout every age of human history over the last two thousand years. I find it so consoling. And I find that it can begin to really fill the void of feeling far away from Jesus during times of desolation or spiritual dryness. Some recommendations I must leave you with (I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t) are Story of A Soul (diary of Saint Therese of Lisieux), the autobiography of Saint Teresa of Avila as well as her book The Interior Castle, Saint Faustina’s Diary, and the poetry and writings of Saint John of the Cross. All of these have absolutely moved my soul, even in times of desolation. Plus, some short modern reads that have gotten me through seasons of emotional suffering or dryness are Interior Freedom, Searching for and Maintaining Peace, and literally anything else by Father Jacques Phillipe. His writings, though deep and profound, are always very concise and to-the-point. You could leaf through them in one sitting.
5. Journaling? It’s not an effective method for everyone, but you could journal about your experience to get as honest as possible with God about your desires, what you are feeling, or the lack thereof. Talk to Him about everything. One of my closet friends in college who is now a seminarian, Joseph (pray for him), once called me higher—as true friends do—and challenged me in prayer. He said, “How honest are you with God?” I was kind of dumbstruck and thought to myself, “Well…God is God…God knows everything…He sees what I hold in my heart already anyway, right? So what’s the point of running through my list of anxieties and fears and spiritual confusion in detail to Him?” The point is: God wants us to articulate everything we can to Him, to be fully honest, like we would with a best friend or close family member or loved one. He wants us to surrender everything to Him, so that, with the consent of our free will, He will enter into even our darkest places and breathe healing and new life. So, I challenge you, too, now: when was the last time you were direct with God? When was the last time you treated Jesus like you had an actual relationship with Him, a deep and personal and loving friendship where you opened your heart to Him by revealing it in honest detail?
6. Make little acts of faith! Going on retreat (you could even do your own personal retreat by driving out to a new beautiful Church or a cozy spot in nature for a few hours), taking up new prayer devotions like novenas or consecrations, and adopting new fasts all show Jesus how much you are trying to love Him as much as you can. These little acts of faith help us practice our trust in Jesus and deepen our relationship with Him, even in seasons of dryness when we don’t readily feel or see the fruits of our prayer. Through these actions, we say, “I love you, Lord, and I know you are here for me, no matter what. I also trust you, in the midst of temptations, confusion, or undesirable circumstances externally or any dryness and suffering going on interiorly.”
7. Sometimes…we just don’t have the words for prayer. If you’re frustrated, feel disconnected, and can think of nothing to say, you can always just sit and BE with The Lord. Eucharistic adoration is a beautiful way to do this. We just “look at Him and He looks at us” (attributed to Saint John Vianney). Adoration is profoundly simple, yet it is rapturous of our souls, a wellspring of endless graces. Saint Pope John Paul II said, “The best, the surest, and the most effective way of establishing PEACE on the face of the earth is through the great power of Perpetual Adoration of The Blessed Sacrament.” Also, if you are still feeling off in prayer, you could try going to confession again. There could be some deeper healing there that Jesus wants to do that will draw you into deeper communion and consolation. Adoration of The Blessed Sacrament and just being with Jesus—especially when we are lost for words—is such a pure and reverent act of faith that Jesus affirms Mary and Martha of how we can choose “the better part” in loving Him (Luke 10:42).
