What is Your Relationship with Weakness?
Do you accept yourself? Yes, I’m talking to you. Do you honestly accept yourself as you are? I’ve realized that there are some aspects of who I am right now that feel unlovable. The bubbly, happy, put-together version of me on most days is pretty easy for me to accept. But what about the version of me that snoozed my alarm and wasn’t very productive? What about the times that I overeat? How about the moments that I’m not feeling God’s love? Within these different conditions, I tend to hide from God. I typically refuse to let Him in because I project my conditional love for myself onto God. Here’s the reality: God’s love is unconditional. Even though it’s easier to only reveal to God what seems acceptable, I’m robbing Him of entering into the deep places of my heart that need His love most. I’m here to invite you to bring compassion to the versions of yourself that you tend to shame and hide. God’s unconditional love and mercy cover every part of you which is why learning to accept our brokenness leads to greater freedom and intimacy with Christ!
Acceptance of our limitations allows for the Holy Spirit to work through us and be our change agent! We simply need to be open and cooperate with God’s grace! Fr. Jacques Philippe shares in his book In the School of the Holy Spirit1:
“However great our efforts, we cannot change ourselves. Only God can get to the bottom of our defects, and our limitations in the field of love; only He has sufficient mastery over our hearts for that. If we realize that we will save ourselves a great deal of discouragement and fruitless struggle. We do not have to become saints by our own power; we have to learn how to let God make us into saints.”
Have you ever made a mistake and then become frustrated with yourself that you made a mistake and through being frustrated make another mistake? It is in these moments that God is asking us to accept our current reality, to bring our limitations to him, and to be patient.
Fr. Jacque further explains our role in opening up ourselves to God:
“This opening of ourselves demands a great deal of humility because it means renouncing our tendency, born of pride, to want to manage by ourselves; it means accepting our own poverty and so own. But at the same time, it is very encouraging. The reason it is encouraging is that our own powers are limited, but God’s power and love are not.”
Humility is hard. Self-acceptance is hard. The only thing we can do is keep turning our eyes back to Christ who doesn’t see us the way we see ourselves. It is Christ’s love that defines us and as much as I try to put my identity in everything else, it is only His love that is unchanging. We must root ourselves in God’s word every single day to let this love sink in. The current beliefs we have about ourselves have been formed over the years so it will take time to allow the truth to penetrate us more deeply.
Your weaknesses do not disqualify you from God’s love. Whatever lies pop into your head that leads you to disqualify yourself from being lovable, I encourage you to turn to the truth. “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) You are a person to be loved, not a project to be fixed. We’re simply asked to keep showing up so how do we show up in this spiritual battle?
- Spend alone time with God
It is essential to spend time in silence with our Lord. It is challenging to hear God’s voice amidst the many distractions and noises of everyday life. Building the practice of being silent whether that be in adoration, a chapel, or your bedroom may be uncomfortable at first but it is what our souls long for. Saint Mother Theresa wrote, “God is a friend of silence. The essential thing is not what we say, but what God will say through us.”2
- Practice accepting your feelings without judgment
It’s okay to check in with yourself as you would do for a friend. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, be compassionate towards yourself. “Yeah, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and that’s okay!” Feelings are neutral which means it is what we do with them that counts versus pretending they are not there. This process will help us to be more authentic and real with what is on our hearts.
- Cultivate curiosity about your story
When things come up in your life, it may be easy to make harsh judgments such as I always fall into this sin or I’m always going to be indecisive. Instead of making extreme statements and judgments, start becoming aware of the present moment, and get curious. “Why am I feeling this way?”
- Stay close to the sacraments
God gave us the Church to fulfill His mission. It is our greatest treasure! Keep showing up at Mass, Confession, and Adoration regardless of how you are feeling about yourself. God will never tire of hearing our broken prayers, so let’s keep showing up to spend time with Him in the most intimate ways possible.
I am confident that I’m not the only one who’s ever experienced this tendency towards hiding and shame. We are all wounded and broken human beings who experience pain. Fortunately, that is not the end of the story! Keeping showing up everyday and turning back to Christ and His mercy for you! “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) You are lovable and acceptable to Christ!
