The Limit Does Exist

We all have relationships. I care a lot about relationships. To name a few, I have relationships with my friends, family, teammates, and colleagues. Even my relationship with God is multifaced! There is God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. But wait, what about the saints?! When it comes to all of these competing relationships in my life I find myself asking questions. How do I love all the way? Do I care too much? Do I not care enough? As these questions race through my mind, I become exhausted. 

There was a day recently where the fears and anxieties were particularly louder than usual. I felt like I had nowhere to turn so I ran to my car and sat there crying. I called a friend and told her how overwhelmed I felt. Once I stopped sobbing enough for her to get a word in she said, “Bri, do you think your worth is found in what other people think about you?” Without much hesitation, I blurted, “Yes.” But how can that be? If I know that my identity is in Jesus Christ why do I still feel the burden of letting my identity rest in the hands of others?

Then I remembered a quote I had heard recently that stuck out to me. “The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart.” It clicked for me. I am not a robot. I am human. I have weaknesses and wounds. I don’t feel seen, known, and loved every single minute of every day. But here’s the good news- that is okay. I’ve been finding a lot of comfort in the words of St. Francis de Sales words on human brokenness:

 “Don’t get upset with your imperfections. It’s a great mistake because it leads nowhere – to get angry because you are angry, upset at being upset, depressed at being depressed, disappointed because you are disappointed. So don’t fool yourself. Simply surrender to the Power of God’s Love, which is always greater than our weakness.”

And there we have it. The irony of wanting to have everything perfectly controlled when true freedom lies in its exact opposite- surrender. Surrender, surrender, and some more surrender. Freedom is living in the reality that I have weaknesses instead of hiding from them. It’s being okay with uncomfortable emotions and not letting them get the best of me. It’s about accepting my limitations and surrendering my life to God again and again, until my very last breath. If you’ve felt the burden of trying to be perfect, you’re not alone. But there’s good news… You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. If you’re a struggling perfectionist like me, it’ll take some time for this truth to sink from your head to heart. Fortunately, if you’re reading this right now, it means that God has more in store for you. He’s not done with you. God wants to gently lead you to greater trust and surrender: the ironic path to freedom and joy.