What Are Ways to Keep Relationships Fun?
“So what do you want to do right now?”
“Hummmm, I don’t know, whatever you want to do!”
“No, no really I am up for whatever you want to do.”
Have you ever been in a conversation like this before? Well, if so, this blog is for you!
No matter what kind of relationships we may find ourselves in we experience the need to know ourselves. Whether we are deciding what we want for dinner or how we want to spend our three day weekend it is so important to know what we desire. What would bring us joy or peace? Knowing these parts of ourselves is essential to being in friendship and especially in dating relationships!
When someone says that you need to find ways to keep the relationship fun. My first thought is wait, yes fun is important, but that is not the primary purpose of a relationship. Fun is a by-product of perusal and getting to know someone! It is natural that in dating you find out what they love doing and you get to share what brings you life! If this doesn’t arise, then something may be off and not authentic. Once you both discover what each other’s hobbies are, there is an opportunity to do those together and discover those things you both love! So my question is what do you normally do for fun? What brings you joy? (This is the part where knowing yourself comes in!) What do you want? How do you want to spend your time?
A relationship is not an entertainment device. It is a connection that is alive; it is dynamic, it takes the form which you provide. If you are asking yourself why I am bored or not having fun with my significant other that is on you. We need to take responsibility for what is the shape of our glass, what kind of environment are we creating in our relationships? Are we giving it our all to find ways to continue to grow individually and as a couple? What are we intentionally doing to get to know another person? Do we fully understand that being in a relationship will not always be fun?
There will be seasons where a relationship may feel like work and you may be called on to rise to the occasion to preserve and dive deep in working on communication or maybe even some self-work.But there should always be a place where you and your significant other can go to to simply enjoy doing together, being together. What that looks like varies from couple to couple.
The reality of relationships across the board is that not all of them are fun! It would be really weird if our relationships were fun all the time. I would feel very exhausted and probably go crazy if that was true. I got limited fuel here, people! In actuality, there will be many moments in a relationship where the sensation of excitement or fun is not present, but that does not take away from the fact that there is shared fun and that you both are committed to growing together.
Here are some things I’ve implemented in my own relationships that I found allowed me to enjoy the present moment. If you find yourself asking, “how do I keep my relationship fun”, maybe begin here!
- Be Curious: Don’t stop asking good questions. Don’t assume you know all there is to them because you can name all their 10 siblings and their birthdays. Go deep. Let this curiosity steam from your heart for 20 questions drilled after one another could feel like an interrogation rather than a desire to understand and acknowledge.
- Be Playful: Having fun together doesn’t have to look like going out and doing something huge all the time, it can literally be giggling through a rosary or making silly faces at one another after a serious conversation! Playful is a spirit, an attitude that creates space for resting in each other’s presences. A place of security and peace.
- Learn Something New: Beginning something new puts both of you in a place of vulnerability and allows you to see one another in a new environment! It can help you in your discernment with one another. It is truly life giving to have a common goal and something tangible to see this desire alive.
- Enter into Their Passions: I don’t know about you, but seeing someone I love filled with excitement and passion brings me a lot of joy though I may care less about a special engine that makes the car drive different. But seeing their love makes me excited and it does become fun and I end up learning something new and realize it’s pretty cool after all!
So this blog is about what is there to do with someone you are growing in love with to enjoy the gifts of one another. To receive them, not to take from them, but to bask in the glory of their existence, their uniqueness, their irreparability. That is what dating is. It is a season of growth of letting God touch you through the beauty of another human person. It may not always look like a racing heart or chills up your body, but it is so much more than the experience of fun, but diving deep into the depths of who the person before you truly is! Don’t waste this time. Recieve it. Recognize the complexity of the opportunity before you. There is such a gift to be and to do together!
