“Do it and you’re cool! Do it and you’re cool!”
“Do it and you’re cool! Do it and you’re cool!”were the words that went across my mind when I felt tempted into falling into the peer pressures of college parties. How desperate must I have been wanting to fit in my freshman year of college? I have to admit I just wanted friends! And there is nothing wrong with wanting friends! That is a good desire, but the friends I had did not desire or want the best for me; although, I would tell myself they did.
One night at a college party I made some very stupid choices and all I wanted was for my friends to take me home and instead they had left me all alone and decided to continue to party. I walked home crying in disbelief and anger that I called these group of people my “friends”. That night changed everything. I desired real friendships. Friendships that were reciprocal. I went home that weekend and I had never wanted to tell my mom the things I had done to that point, but she was the only person I knew would understand me, who would be real with me, and want the best for me, and God willing not hit me with the “chancla” (sandal) as the stereotype of any Latino parents would. So I cried at her bedside that Saturday morning and she looked at me with such love. I told her everything and the first piece of advice she gave me was- “1. Don’t tell your dad because that will break his heart (I told him eventually) and she went on to tell me that there is nothing that I have done, or will do that would make her love me any less. The second piece of advice she gave me was- 2. You need to make new friends. You know people are imperfect and will fail you, but join all the Christian clubs and you will find some.” She was right all along. My mom would always say to me growing up, “tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are.” I took her advice went back to UCSB that year and I decided to make this change.
How did I do it you may be asking? So Friday night came around and yes I would lock myself in my room and study. My “friends” would be knocking looking for me and I would pretend I was not in my dorm. I also began to study in the library on friday and saturday nights when I felt real tempted to give in one last time. I also started to meet new people in the Christian clubs I was going to and I actually got really involved with a ministry on Friday nights where we would hand out free burgers to students who would be partying in Isla Vista. This ministry was called Jesus Burgers and the people that I met in it helped me grow in virtue my freshman year. I still desired to “party” or in other words have fun, but I desired to have fun not in the worlds perception of fun, but I wanted real frienships where we could dance to dancing queen and go on late night mcdonalds runs and sit out and star gaze at midnight without the consequences of gettung drunk or making other stupid choices. Were there still temptations to drink underage and such? YES! Did I fail? YES. Everytime I fell I just had to remember that I had to just get back up and keep going. I learned to say NO a lot that year and I am still learning. So if you are in a similar situation as the one I was in let me tell you don’t ever lose hope and pray, pray real hard for real friendships. GOD ALWAYS PROVIDES!
Praying for you!
