It’s Not Me, It’s You

If you’re a human with the capacity to love, then you have experienced betrayal. You have felt the words that people have spoken to you and believed them with all that you have. You have trusted those whom you once could rely. However, in one brief moment out of nowhere, they pulled the rug out from under you and left you in dismay. They left you: alone. 

You may begin to consider all of the possible ways in which you have failed, why you were not good enough, if they didn’t stay then who will? You’ll ask what you did wrong, how you need to improve, what are the things you can do in order to earn the love that you deserve. 

I’m here to tell you that it was never you. It was never your fault. When someone says they will do something and they don’t, when they say they will stay and they leave, when they say they will find you and they never seek: that was never your fault. It was never on you, but rather it is all on them. 

Sometimes God has to close a door that you never could. Maybe you’ll never understand it, maybe it will never make sense. I promise you it will get easier if you place your trust in the Lord. Nothing happens simply by chance. There is a reason for everything, even if you can’t see it. 

It is imperative that you heal and forgive. Do not allow your mind to create a monster out of this person. Keep the good memories and don’t distort them, they were real. That person is not the sum of their mistakes and failures, they are a human being made in the image of God and they deserve love just as much as you. And please, please recognize that just because one person chose to fail you, not everyone will. Every person is different and deserves a fair chance to be trusted. Do not write off someone because of someone else’s mistakes. The Lord will place others in your life to heal your wounds, allow Him the opportunity to do so. 

If you have walls built up around your heart to protect yourself, tear them down, destroy them, set them on fire. The walls are an illusion of protection. Walls only feed selfishness and intensify feelings of loneliness. You deserve to be free.  

I know this may seem scary, trusting again  and healing when you’ve been hurt. However, I promise you it is worth it. 

• Trust in the Lord and His plan for your life. He will not leave you in the heartache. Sometimes we must let go in order to make room for the greater gift that He has prepared for us. 
• Remember that none of this is your fault. You are good, you are beautiful, you are worth it. You DID NOT deserve to be hurt. 
• Choose to forgive, even if you never hear the words “I’m sorry.” I know it’s hard, trust me. But I promise you, it’s best for you. 
• Break down the walls around your heart and allow God to be your protection. Stop relying on just yourself and lean on the Lord. 
• Do not assume that every other person that walks into your life will hurt you or will leave you. Allow Christ to work through the people you encounter and trust their love for you. 
• Do not isolate yourself, be vulnerable and let others see the pain. 
• Pray your little heart out. Give everything to Jesus Christ. 
• Know of my prayers for you. 

Just because one person failed to be Jesus to you in all moments does not mean that you are not worthy. You are loved, seen, and known. You are never alone. 

Your sister in Christ,

Johni