Masculine Femininity?
I have always been a self-proclaimed tom-boy. I played soccer on the playground with the boys every day of elementary recess, gym class has always been my favorite, and I’ve never been one for dressing up.
I’m not going to lie – there were many times as a young girl that I wished I could be a boy. After all, I seemed to fit that mold better! I liked soccer better than skirts, getting dirty rather than being dainty, and watching football more than fawning over babies. Actually, most of those things are still true.
So the question is . . . does this make me a masculine female, or even a male? And if a male has a similar experience with typical feminine activities or qualities, is he a feminine male, or a female altogether?
Absolutely not.
This may sound radical in the culture we live in today, but you are either born male, or you are born female. (We’ll set aside the less than .1% of those born intersex for this conversation.) Your sex and gender are not your parents’ decision or even your own, and not only that, but it will never change. It’s biologically impossible.
The truth is, every cell in your body is stamped with your identity as either male or female. There are no other options, and there is no surgery, medication, or hormone that can alter this reality.
And as we are all aware, each of these two ways of being human tend to come with a set of stereotypes. Men are strong and love video games and sports; women are tender relators and love shopping and tea parties. Sound familiar?
These stereotypes can cause some people, such as myself as a young girl, to feel as though we don’t fit the mold of male or female. So why doesn’t this make me a masculine female?
Because I am a female. Absolutely everything I do, say, and experience, I can only do, say, and experience as a female. If I am playing tackle football, I am doing so as a female. If I talk about the latest sports cars more than the latest fashion lines, I do so as a female.
These things do not make me more masculine or male, just as playing with dolls or baking cookies does not make a man more feminine or female. Activities or experiences don’t influence our male or female-ness; we influence activities based on our embodiment as a male or female.
So where does this leave us?
- You are either male or female, and that is good.
- Stereotypes are just that – stereotypes. While men and women do have many objective differences, our tendencies towards stereotypically male or female activities do not change our inherent embodiment as male or female.
The hobbies, interests, and passions you possess are a beautiful part of what makes you unique! God has made you exactly as He pleased, down to the very last detail. God never makes mistakes. You are as He created you to be, whether it be male or female.
So go play hockey! Knit that scarf! Play the ukulele! Watch NASCAR! Don’t be afraid of the unique gifts and passions God has placed within you, whether or not they seem to conform to the world’s gender stereotypes. Show the world the miraculous and unrepeatable way He has created you as male or female. In the meantime, I’m going to go play some soccer!
