Why Am I So Replaceable?!?

Why am I so Replaceable??? How to take control over negative self-talk.

Why am I so replaceable?

Ever had a similar negative thought cross your mind?

This question flooded my mind after hearing my ex-boyfriend had a new girlfriend soon after our two year relationship ended. Talk about prime opportunity for the enemy to attack me with lies.

But seriously!!! If my ex could jump into a new relationship that quickly… then that must mean there really wasn’t anything special about me. Why was I so replaceable??? 

This thought ate away at me. So much so that I couldn’t handle it alone. That’s when my spiritual director texted me these words that forever changed my life: 

No one can replace you as you are. They may run from a relationship because it is too painful for them, and they may try to hurt you because they are wounded. But ultimately it doesn’t matter. You are who Christ says you are, and in the end that’s all that counts. Don’t let someone steal your joy or your peace. You are not, nor have you ever been in control of their actions. You are only in control of your actions, your thoughts , and your responses…and they must be worthy of who you are. Why would you ever give someone that much control over your life?

Dang. Talk about a casual Friday night text.

The truth of the matter is: I’m not replaceable. I grew up knowing that. And his decision did not all of a sudden change that reality. 

Another person’s choices should not have power over you. And certainly cannot change the reality of who you are.

I had to learn the vital lesson of not letting another human being’s choices change the way I view myself and my identity. No human being should have that much control over my thought process. If they do, then something needs to change. As human beings, we have a duty to take authority over the thoughts that go through our minds. We are not at the mercy of our thoughts! We can master them. And truth be told, we must master them.

And this is not just a little deal, friends!!!

Which thoughts we allow to occupy our minds shapes who we are, how we live, and how we look at the world. If I had let that thought of feeling replaceable continually haunt me, perhaps it would have changed the way I look at myself. Or maybe it would have changed the way I look at my ex-boyfriend. And perhaps that would negatively change the way I look at men in general, or damaged my ability to trust men. And that would not be OK. This is the enemy’s way of trying to limit the limitless capacity we have to do something beautiful for the glory of God that only you can do! 

So what do you do when you are haunted with negative thoughts?

1. Recognize them for what they are: LIES. Then counteract that lie with a steadfast truth. Tell yourself: “I will not let this lie have any power over my life.” If you need to, reach out to a trusted friend to speak truth over your life. We need each other, and it’s okay to need to be reminded of the truth sometimes. Do what you need to do to let the truth be present throughout your day – write it out on your mirror, journal, listen to a song that reminds you of the truth! Hey, if you need to verbally speak the truth out loud, do it! Did you know that it takes seven positive truths to counteract one negative lie you have spoken about yourself? So take reinforcing truths seriously, and speak the truth AT LEAST SEVEN TIMES MORE than the negative thought haunts you!
2. Pray. Go to God the Father and ask Him to remind you of who you are—ask Him to remind you of your precious identity. The negative thoughts are attempting to make us forget that our ONLY identity is found in God our loving, merciful Father. That’s why it’s important to take time to let our Father, who IS Truth, speak truth into our hearts. When you ask Him, I have a hunch He will say something like this: You are my beloved child. You are a gift to me, and a gift to the world. You are loved, desired, and wanted. You are chosen. I will bless you abundantly and make you a blessing to all those you meet. He’s awesome like that.

Friends, let’s start living in reality, and not let the negative thoughts control or even influence our lives. We are worthy of so much more. Take control over your mind, and stop trying to control others’ actions. They say nothing about who YOU are. I believe in you. And if you ever need a sister to speak truth into your life, I’d love to be your girl! XOXO.