Guys don’t want a pure girl
Hearing that hurts, because it means that if guys don’t want a pure girl, we somehow have less worth. Because we have made a choice to uphold our dignity, see people and ourselves through a lens that seeks to love and not use another person, that we aren’t wanted, or worth being in a relationship with. Whether a girl is living out chastity or not her dignity isn’t diminished, and should NEVER be seen as less valuable.
Reality sets in that when a woman decides to live out chastity that creates a smaller pool of men that will have the COURAGE to pursue her. This doesn’t diminish her beauty but rather it means that her heart is worth the work of pursuing. This means that, yes we are going to have the tough conversation with our boyfriend to say these are the boundaries we need to set. Not because expressing how we feel is bad, but because if want to express authentic love that means we won’t settle for allowing ourselves to be seen as objects or to be lusted after.
So, yes, some guys won’t want to hang around you, or won’t want to pursue you. I know what it is like to have a guy interested and when you even start speaking about the lifestyle you live, they clock out. Granted in the moment it stings but then you start to think about it. He was interested and once he realized I wasn’t the type of girl who would allow myself nor him to be used and lusted after, he left. You then realize, that wasn’t the makings of a man but a boy. I know it hurts to feel unwanted or dismissed because of your beliefs but believe me when I say it is worth it. It is worth saving yourself from being used, hurt, and the brokenness you’ll experience. As well as believing that giving up our morals and giving into this culture is normal and that,“this is just how relationships are”. You deserved to be SEEN, KNOWN, and LOVED. If a guy won’t provide that, then he isn’t worth the HONOR of pursuing you.
What would you rather have? A relationship with someone built on counterfeit love that says, “I “love” you”, when it is convenient, and when I feel like it”. Or would you rather have a relationship built on wanting what is best for the other despite what you may feel. That their loves goes beyond how they feel and seeks to want what is best for you, even if that means sacrifice. I think the answer is clear.
Of course you may be thinking, I get it Genesis but guys like that don’t exist. Now I truly believe that when men AND women hear about living out chastity, it makes sense. Its like something you always knew but were never told. Similarly, women wield a power. We can call men to rise up to the occasion. We can say, “I know you may be used to treating, acting, or behaving that way with women but the cycle stops here”. I along with many other women deserve better than the ways you’ve been treating us.
Use your feminine powers and call our men to virtue! Obviously in charity (basically that means don’t go off on them but do so in a loving way). Guys don’t want a pure girl, but real courageous men do! Don’t be what guys want, be what men NEED!
