Guard Your Heart or End Up With a Broken One

Time and time again I was left with a broken heart, because I didn’t know how to guard it.

We all have this innate desire and longing to be seen, heard, appreciated, and dare I say: noticed. I would find myself in deep relationships with the opposite sex, treating him like I was his girlfriend when really I was being called to be his friend that just so happened to be a girl. I couldn’t find the line or draw the distinction. I would get lost within this idea of belonging and feeling wanted.  Until one day it hit me, I’m too freely giving away pieces of my heart that are meant to be treasured.

If you are one day called to marriage, don’t you want to be able to exclusively give the gift of your heart?

It’s exactly what I teach the girls in the classroom, “your guy friends are not your boyfriends so do not treat them as such.” I realized I had to practice what I was teaching.

I took a look back on my life, who was I telling my secrets to, who was I asking for advice, who did I run to when things got hard? The rose colored glasses came off and I could see that from my past experiences the answer was never Jesus. And that’s when I knew: something had to change.

I placed appropriate boundaries in all of my relationships with the men in my life and placed boundaries around my heart.  All along I had been fearful of being rejected as a friend if I didn’t give and give and give, even when it wasn’t prudent for my heart, even when it hurt in unnecessary ways.  To my surprise, as I revealed the boundaries I would be setting up to each man, they all respectfully accepted and some were inspired to use the boundaries within other relationships.  I practiced. Ugh, boy did I fall. I kept getting back up. I learned from my mistakes. And finally, I became free.   No longer did I feel as though I had to be something I wasn’t to gain love.  I could give it my all while also living in reality.  I had the freedom to be who I was, treat the person as who they are, and not make the relationship something it was not.

As I learned how to act appropriately within my male friendships, I was given the beautiful gift of allowing Christ to become the King of my heart.  I gave Jesus my heart to hold, protect, reign, and guard. One day if it is the will of the Lord, Jesus and I will be able to give my heart to the right one together.  

Guarding your heart 101:

1. Give your heart to Jesus Christ.  Run to Him in all things, allow Him to heal your wounds and complete you.
2. Do not be something you are not for nothing and no one.
3. Know yourself and what is good for you.
4. Share the novela detailed story of your life with your sisters in Christ, allow your brothers to see the Sparknotes version.
5. No texting, calling, or hanging out with one man late at night.
6. Live in reality, no fantasizing.  Love others for who they are not what you want them to be.
7. Trust Jesus.