The Thief of Joy

Theodore Roosevelt once said “Comparison is the thief of  joy.” This pierces right through me; he is so right.

Whenever we compare our brokenness, our weakness, our wounds, our flaws, whether they be physical, intellectual or spiritual, we lose sight of the gift that we are; we lose sight of our uniqueness. We dehumanize ourselves; a bit extreme? Maybe, but hear me out.

Each and every single one of us is uniquely and wonderfully made; intentionally loved into existence. We were created from love, by love, to love. There will never be another you, and you have a unique and needed way of loving that is meant to change hearts and mend brokenness in our culture in ways that my love cannot.  We each are created for a life of greatness. We are all deserving to be treated with love and respect because of the human dignity that each of us possess. No one deserves to be treated less, or viewed as less than human, no person ever deserves to be dehumanized.

I think we do a great job at pointing out ways we dehumanize today in our culture, but do we ever pause to think of the ways that we dehumanize ourselves? If each of us is created to love, that not only means love of neighbor but love of self. When we compare ourselves to someone or some certain expectation, we disregard our own humanity, we disregard the unique individual that we are. We rob ourselves of joy.

“ Man, I wish I looked more like____” ,“If only I was more like____”, “ If only I could___” , “ I wish I wasn’t so___”  

Sense any love in these phrases? Feel any joy? See what I mean? Guys, this isn’t coming from the Queen of Self Confidence either, actually quite the opposite, this is coming from someone who has suffered for years at comparison. There is one particular person, that for so long, I compared myself to; looks, accomplishes, faith – everything. I never saw myself as enough during all that time, all I could focus on were the gifts, talents, “beauty”, that I didn’t possess. It made me blind to the gift that I was.

One day I read this quote by another great saint, St. Catherine of Siena. This quote  helped shatter through all the lies that comparison brings with it. “What is it you want to change? Your hair, your face, your body? Why? For God is in love with all those things and he might weep when they are gone” I remember being brought to tears when I read it because for so long I had been neglecting and rejecting the daughter that God so deeply loved and intentionally created.

After this moment, I decided I needed to take some serious steps to rid myself of this joy killer. I would like to share 3 of those steps with you that have helped me to stop comparing and to start living.

1. Pray. Seriously! Prayer is the tool that builds intimacy with the one that created us. If we want to break away from comparison, shouldn’t we allow the one who created us, to remind us of who we are? A prayer that I started to pray was “Lord, help me to see me the way you do, and to see the others as a gift”
2. Take a break. I had to take a break from social media because I found that it typically led me to start comparing myself to others, comparing my lows to their highlights reels. I stepped back to help break the cycle of comparison I had grown so habitual to.
3. Gratitude. Living in a spirit of gratitude. Thanking God for creating me the way that he did, especially with the things I don’t like about myself. I also began thanking Him for the person that I would compare myself to, thanking Him for the gift that they are. Every time we see a person we are tempted to compare ourselves to, let’s stop and marvel at the gift that they are.

I pray these 3 steps help you like they have helped me. Let’s restore joy back into our lives. Never forget. You are enough. You are good. You are gifted. You are loved.