Masturbation. What’s the Big Deal?
The other day I came across a magazine article by Cosmopolitan that popped up in my “Featured” feed on Snapchat that read: “8 Health Benefits of Masturbation.” Naturally, I’m always so shocked at the racy content that finds its way into my social media feeds, and how easily accessible it is even when I’m not looking for them. To be completely honest, when coming across this article, there was ACTUALLY a part of me that was really curious to see what they were saying in regards to masturbation. So I clicked on the link, and what I found was utterly misleading. I don’t mean to be harsh or dramatic, but I believe as women (and men) that we deserve to know the truth about what we are made for. And ladies and gents, masturbation is not our truth.
A few of the health benefits that were listed were:
- It helps you love yourself more.
- It’s safe.
- It reduces stress.
- It’ll help you sleep better.
- It can boost your confidence and body image.
- It makes sex with others better.
It would be such a disservice to say, “Do what you want, as long as you’re not hurting anyone.” But the truth is, you are hurting someone: yourself. We live in a culture where all of our actions our pleasure based. After reading this article I couldn’t help but think that millions of young girls and women are reading this and believe this is their truth. Masturbation is often presented as healthy, empowering, and part of how we can practice self-love. The funny thing is that the world has a way of saying that a lot of disordered things are “good.” And I hate to be that person, but simply put, it isn’t. Masturbation stands for “I” alone, and not the “we” that we have been so intricately made for:
“Masturbation fosters the growth of selfishness, a leading enemy of a healthy personality and of marital and mature love. Selfishness fosters emotional immaturity, undermines sacrificial giving, and predisposes individuals to overreact in anger. Growth in mature confidence is damaged by the need to escape into a fantasy world. The ability to trust in healthy loving relationships and to pursue them is also weakened. It intensifies loneliness and can lead to a sexual addiction. Also, the spiritual life within an individual with such conflicts is obviously also harmed. Specifically, the identification and the friendship with the Lord are weakened because of the person’s difficulties with healthy self-giving and receiving, and because of a sense of guilt. It also interferes with the spiritual journey of becoming another Christ for others in one’s vocation.” (Catholic Education)
The truth about masturbation is that you condition yourself to no longer want, need or desire human connection. That we can fulfill our desire for love and connection with ourselves alone. We live in a culture where the fulfillment of our sexual “needs” is what matters most. Where people use pleasure as an escape to find solace, instead of seeking consolation in a healthy manner. Masturbation causes us to turn inwards, to isolate ourselves, and turn our sexuality away from God. What our culture doesn’t tell us is that masturbation actually aids in us becoming lonely and depressed. The truth is that it goes against the very purpose of our human existence which is: love, connection, and relationship.
At the root of all of this, we must always remember that in and through love we are as a gift meant to be received with the utmost respect and reverence. “The prize of true love awaits those who are truly free because they are the only ones capable of giving and receiving.” (If You Really Loved Me, 130)
