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10 Truths for My Sisters Amidst a Pornography Addiction

March 3rd, 2019
Kari Hoeft
By Kari Hoeft read
Posted in Culture
  1. First of all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have found yourself here, sucked in and lied to by our culture. But please, please believe me when I say it’s not your fault. You were just a child, a pure, innocent, curious child who didn’t know any better, and certainly wasn’t taught any better by our culture. You should have been protected from the things you have seen. You were failed, and I am deeply sorry.
  2. Though you cannot take back what you have done, un-see the places you have lent your eyes, you are not your sin. You are a beautifully and wonderfully made child of our Father, and that is how He sees you, even now. Your identity in Christ is not blemished by your sins. You are good.
  3. You can overcome. Your past cannot be changed, but your future can. Healing is possible. Your brain can reshape, your heart can re-warm, and you can learn to love authentically. Healing begins as soon as you desire to overcome this addiction.
  4. Please, I beg of you, don’t suffer in silence. The devil will try to shame you into secrecy, to tell you that this part of you cannot be loved, but the devil is a liar. Telling a trusted friend or adult is a beautiful way to start overcoming and healing. Darkness will begin to disappear when you crack open the door and allow the light of someone’s love to shine. Let them in.
  5. Let Jesus in, too – go to the sacrament of reconciliation. Let His forgiveness wash over you like cool, refreshing water. He is not ashamed of you. He has been waiting for you with open arms!
  6. Let his forgiveness inspire and encourage you to forgive yourself. Take a deep breath, and let it go. You have carried this long enough. Be free!
  7. Know that victory won’t be instant or easy, yet never give up. In time, it will get easier. Don’t let falling discourage you from getting right back up again – our Father is never outdone in mercy and forgiveness.
  8. As you fight for freedom, rely on the Lord. As Matt Fradd says, the only thing that can beat desire is a stronger desire. So desire God like never before! Commit to the virtue of chastity, and your desires will begin to purify. Let your ‘no’ to giving in to temptation be instead a greater YES to God, and to authentic love.
  9. Remember that no matter what, you are loved. So, so, so loved. Nothing has, can or ever will change how madly in love our Father is with you. You, my sister, are a delight to His eyes.
  10. You are not alone. Many of us have fought this battle before, and we are praying for you. You can win this battle. Fight on, my sister.
10 Truths for My Sisters Amidst a Pornography Addiction
Kari Hoeft
Kari Hoeft

About the Author

Kari Hoeft is a 2018 graduate of the College of St. Benedict/St. John's University with a BA in Liturgical Music and Theology. She grew up on a farm in Central Minnesota with her family of eight where she fell in love with playing piano, any and all sports, and ice cream. The invitation to live a life fully alive drew her to the Culture Project, and this is her first year as a missionary. "The Culture Project's message reached the depths of my heart and answered many of my life’s most profound questions, and I want other young men and women to experience that same awakening."

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