Am I the only one?

It’s time for some real talk about chastity. Chastity is a beautiful virtue that all people are called to live out. But if I’m being honest, y’all, it’s hard. And I know I’m not the only one who thinks this. Recently, I encountered a high school senior who shared this thought with me: “I feel like I am the only one who wants to live out chastity. All my friends and peers talk about their relationships and what goes on in them. When I hear about their experiences, I lose hope that there is anyone like me.”

This is a common sentiment expressed among young people, from middle schoolers to young adults. What this comment reveals is significant: the battle for purity can be lonely. We can have a deep desire to pursue chastity but lack support because our friends, families, and peers are not choosing the same path.

During these challenging times, the ways of the world can start to look appealing. We may begin to believe that since everyone else is doing it, it must be ok. Or that choosing what the culture offers will bring us happiness. Our friends seem to be living their best life, so it must be worth the indulgence, right?

But if we stop to think about this, let’s get real. Are those people truly happy? What they share with you, their friends, and social media may not be reality, or at least not the full picture. Most times, they are highlighting what they think people want to see and hear. They are not revealing what’s actually going on in their heads and hearts, maybe without realizing it. Sooner or later, instead of feeling fulfilled by the culture, they are left empty.

While deep down we may know this is true, loneliness and discouragement can still consume us. So what can we do in the face of this challenge?

1. Love our friends and family where they are. Keep witnessing to them, especially when they disagree. Never underestimate the power of our continual “yes” to chastity. Others will see this, and hearts will change because of it.
2. Seek out those who are like-minded. This may be hard because not everyone is vocal about pursuing chastity. Don’t be afraid to have a voice that stands out in the crowd. We never know who will appreciate our witness and want to stand beside us on this journey.
3. Be mindful of what we consume. Some video games, social media, music, TV shows, and movies can derail our pursuit of chastity. We should instead fill ourselves with things that will make the day-to-day battle for purity easier. For example, consider who you follow on social media. Analyze the content they post and decide if it is worthy of showing up on your feed.
4. Pray. Ask God for the strength to grow in the virtue of chastity. Pray for good role models and friends who will give unwavering support. Never doubt the power of prayer and what the Lord will give us if only we ask.  

Pursuing chastity isn’t always going to be easy. The culture will tell us that this lifestyle isn’t worth it, but be assured – that is a lie. We are made for so much more than the world can offer us. Stand tall and know that choosing to live out chastity is a worthy battle. I’m right there with you and hope you keep fighting the good fight, today and everyday. You are not alone!