Into the Silence
A couple of years ago I drove my sister and her date to the prom. The venue was about an hour away from our house so I figured, instead of driving back I’ll make this a nice little ‘treat-yo-self’ evening. After dropping them off I found a highly rated Thai place. “Perfect!” I thought, “I’ll have a great meal, take my time, and read that great book I threw in my purse before heading out the door.” To my surprise, it was more difficult to enjoy myself than I thought it would be. But, not for the reason, you may be thinking. I was difficult to fully enter into my evening and enjoy myself, not because I felt awkwardly alone, but because everyone in the restaurant seems to think I should.
It was a small place with only a few late night dinners, so walking in and being sat alone, I was noticed. The couple at the table directly across from me kept looking over. The waiter seemed to almost have pity on me. One person even ordered me a Thai tea and had it sent over! Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take a Thai tea any day and be thoroughly grateful. Why though, was everyone so concerned?
I think this points the greater reality that our culture stigmatizes being alone. We all have noticed this at some point. The awkward waiting in your car until your friend arrives at the place you are meeting so you don’t walk in by yourself, or worse, sit there by yourself while you await his or her arrival. Or when taking a walk by yourself, calling several friends till someone picks up so to have something to do. Most people wouldn’t dream of going to a movie alone. We even struggle being alone with our thoughts. How many time do we reach for music to avoid the reminder that we are hurting? How often do we turn to our phone or social media as soon as we wake or right before bed, the times we tend to have the quietest. Why are we so opposed to being alone? Why are we so uncomfortable facing our deeper thoughts? What would happen if we embraced the quiet, embraced being alone? What would be discovered about ourselves, about others, or about God if we allowed ourselves to sit in the silence?
