Friendship with the Complementary Sex

We both left feeling unheard and rejected. My friend and I recently met with an important group of people, but left without getting a chance to share our ideas. I asked my friend what her thoughts were regarding the experience, and she expressed that, “they asked us for our opinions, but did not give us the opportunity to share.” I felt the same and began to share with her some of my thoughts on their plan, not realizing I did not fully listen to her, either. She asked me, “did you ask me because you wanted to know what I thought, or because you wanted to share your own ideas?”

Men and women misunderstand each other sometimes. However, this shouldn’t stop us from being friends. We live in a culture that believes it is not possible for men and women to actually be just friends. We have been taught to think that there is always some other motive behind our actions that must not be trusted. This is far from the truth.  

It is extra motivating. I get to be more of the best version of myself for the sake of women.

Some of my most healing friendships have been with women. In fact, very few experiences in life have been more affirming than in the times when women have trusted me to do the right thing. It is extra motivating. I get to be more of the best version of myself for the sake of women. We can only find ourselves in making a sincere gift of self.

Because interactions between men and women can sometimes be confusing, I’d like to share with you some practical tips to help foster authentic friendship between men and women:

First, bring clarity to conversations. We can find ourselves ruminating, “Did she mean this?” and “What did he mean by that?” Instead, try clearing the air in the moment by having a heartfelt, honest discussion face to face. Explaining your thoughts and feelings and inviting the other to share their experience can go a long way.

Second, listen intently.  Sometimes we tend to judge what others say to the standard we have set for ourselves. However, by listening and stepping into the other person’s shoes, we can grow in compassion and can reassess our standards to their life experience.

Third, start fresh. One of the most powerful questions a person can ask a friend is, “Is there anything you would like me to ask forgiveness for?” Friendship is a beautiful grounds to learn to be forgiven and to forgive. It is an education in mercy. I encourage you to extend the freedom of forgiveness to those who are looking to love you the most – family and friends.

Want to know how that story ended? After processing the interaction, I said to her, “I have been trying to reverence you since the day I met you.” She turned back to me and said, “let’s take a walk and explain to me what you mean by that.” This was a new beginning for us and time of growth in friendship. I felt the confidence to have a hard conversation because I had her good in mind and I knew she had my good in mind, as well. This interaction was healing, and has forever changed the way I approach friendships with the complementary sex.”