Can We Talk?
Have you ever really contemplated the reality that loving is a choice? It’s more than just a feeling, it’s more than wanting to be around someone because of attraction or similar interests.
Loving is choosing the other, even when it’s difficult, even when it hurts. Love isn’t easy and often it can really hurt. It’s true what they say, there is no love without suffering. It is absolutely impossible to be in relationship with someone and not run into difficulty.
If you’re anything like me, you often run away (as fast as possible) from conflict. Someone says or does something that hurts you and you just laugh it off, maybe pretend it never happened, or try to forget the pain of it.
In all honesty, while it is important to be prudent and choose what circumstances cause for conversations; it is never loving to allow that pain, sorrow, or maybe even anger build up. One of the best ways that we can love another is to pursue them in every regard, this includes having conversations that need to be had. It’s almost always true that the friend never meant any harm.
The pain caused through words and actions of an authentic friend is almost always unintentional. Sometimes a friend messes up, without even realizing they have done so. It is imperative that we have those conversations and we allow that friend into that space, into that pain and hurt. It is an opportunity for growth on your part as well as your friend. They will be made aware of their actions and be afforded the chance to make changes if need be in how to interact with not just you, but everyone in their life.
The practicality of having these conversations are not always quite the same. However, one thing is for certain: prayer is essential. Allow Christ into the center of every relationship, pray that He strengthens bonds between friends that must be strengthened. Ask for the grace to be given the courage to speak your needs and to pursue the friendships that will allow you to grow in virtue and love for the Lord. Additionally, when preparing for and while having conversations never accuse or assume. Always speak the truth, which may simply consist of how you feel and why. Remember to have patience and forgiveness within your heart.
It is always worth it to have a conversation, you are worth it and so is the other.
